Mikail Maillet - How Awareness and Belief Shape Your Relationships and Reality

 What if the patterns repeating in your life are not random, but driven by thoughts you barely notice? 

In this episode, Julie Fairhurst interviews author and teacher Mikail Maillet to explore how awareness, belief, and imagination shape relationships, careers, and everyday meaning. 

Drawing from his book Your Mind or Your Life, Mikhail explains why mindset is not mystical thinking but a daily practice that combines imagination with action. 

Together, they discuss breaking relationship patterns, moving out of victimhood, choosing integrity in small moments, and using self-awareness to create real, lasting change. 

Get Mikail's book here:  https://www.yourmindoryourlife.com/

Join the Movement - Women Like Me Community

Who Is Julie Fairhurst?

Speaker • Author • Business Strategist • Founder of Women Like Me

Julie Fairhurst is a force of nature disguised as a woman with a pen and a business brain built for impact. As the founder of the Women Like Me Book Program, she has opened the door for women around the world to share their truth, heal their past, and rise into their power. Since 2019, she has published more than 30 books and over 350 true-life stories — without charging a single writer a dime! Why? Because women’s stories deserve daylight, not gatekeeping.

With 34 years in sales, marketing, and successful business leadership, Julie knows how to turn storytelling into influence and influence into income.

Her mission is clear and unapologetic: break generational trauma one story at a time and help women elevate both emotionally and financially. She doesn’t just publish books, she builds brands, confidence, and possibility, giving women the tools to rewrite their futures, grow their businesses, and lift their families with them.

Julie's Website

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Core Theme: Patterns
• 1:49 Mikhail’s Path: Study, Mind, And Meaning
• 3:37 Thought Creates Reality: Tests And Lessons
• 6:16 Writing The Book And Rewriting The Self
• 8:50 Liberating A Trapped Mind: Purpose And Responsibility
• 11:09 Belief, Ideology, And The Middle Way
• 13:28 Action Meets Imagination: Goals That Stick
• 15:54 Daily Reframes: From Tired To Energized
• 18:22 Ending Victimhood And Healing The Past
• 21:24 Mastering The Self: Integrity In Practice
• 24:14 Breaking Attraction Patterns In Relationships
• 29:22 Love Story And The Power Of Clear Intention
• 33:52 Parenting, Generations, And Positive Cycles
• 37:17 Faith, Philosophy, And Nonjudgment
• 40:32 First Quiet Shift: Recognize And Change Patterns

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:14

Hi everyone and welcome to another episode of Women Like Me Stories in Business. I'm your host, Julie Fairhurst. And I'm super excited today, let me tell you, because what we're going to talk about is one of my favorite things to talk about. So let me introduce our guest and then we're going to get right into it. So today's conversation is about something many people sense but struggle to name. It's the quiet patterns that repeat in our lives, especially in our relationships, and the deeper reasons they show up. My guest today is Mikhail Mallet. Mellet. Did I get that right? Author, teacher, long life, student of the mind. For more than 45 years, he has worked with principles that explore how thought, imagination, and awareness shape not only our inner world, but the relationships we experience, the obstacles we face, and the meaning we make from our lives. This is a conversation about awareness, responsibility, and the freedom that comes when you finally see what's been running the show or who's been running the show. I I want to know what's running the show in my head. So welcome, welcome. Would you like to tell everybody a bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_02: 1:38

Thank you. Um, yeah, my name is Mikhail Millet. I've been a long, lifelong study of many systems over near 50 years now. Uh martial arts instructor for, well, I've been practicing the arts for over 53 years. Wow. And I've studied equally. Uh I think I began studying when I was about 17. And I just had this urge to know why we're here. What is my purpose? And why is everyone so different? So I began my study in the Eastern philosophies and just took off from there. I pretty much studied uh all the major faiths and religions, psychology, philosophy, etc., and I just can't get enough. Uh last five years I've been studying a lot of uh Carl Jung's psychology, William James, and uh just love it. I'm learning so much about the psych, learning a ton about myself and patterns of thinking, and I just discovered about maybe two 10, 11 years ago, discovered the power of the mind and the imagination. And uh we used to blame others for our circumstances and things like this. And I when I took a look at my own life and all the happenings that occurred, I realized that they were all my doing due to my thinking process, uh, due to actions I may take, you know, there are consequences for every action, good or bad. And I started to pay attention to that, especially in the last five years, where my life was going. And I learned that if I harness my thinking, as you know, we have thousands and thousands of thoughts daily, but how many of those are you actually yours? You know, most of it's all, in fact, all of it is from the unconscious. And we live in our unconscious at least 80, 85% of the time. So when one is present to their thoughts, then they're living in their presence. And for example, an artist will be into a painting or craft of some kind, and they're they're deep into it, and there's no distractions, and you you you're 100% there, you're fully present. That's being completely conscious of what you're doing. But with thoughts, uh, I found that thoughts, negative thinking leads to negative experiences. I've tested it over and over. Positive thinking leads to positive influences or occurrences. So I realized that circumstances don't create us, we create our own circumstances. And it just took a while for that to really sink in. And I've tested all these theories. Um thought creates reality.

SPEAKER_00: 4:43

It does.

SPEAKER_02: 4:44

It does all things, like emotions to uh manifesting things in our lives. I don't care much for the term manifesting because you can't manifest something from nothing, right?

SPEAKER_01: 4:55

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 4:55

Come from somewhere, but everything began in the mind, everything that exists today in this entire universe began through the first thought. Yes, yes. And so I just um once I realized how to create events in my own life that impact me and those around me, I decided I've got to do this as often as I possibly can because again, we can get down these rabbit holes and traps of thinking that lead us in an unwanted area, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 5:32

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 5:33

So I found it very important to know your thoughts as much as possible. Even how you think about another person. You know, I like to think send love always, you know. There's nothing greater than than love and a helping hand, someone who is in need. You know, there's a lot of important things uh in life I think we need to be more conscious of.

SPEAKER_00: 6:02

Absolutely. Tell us I I love the title of your book, Your Mind or Your Life. And that's the cover of your book right behind you there. So when did you write that book?

SPEAKER_02: 6:14

I began writing it in 2012.

SPEAKER_00: 6:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 6:18

And I completed it. Well, it was somewhat of a draft in 2015. I paid a lot of money to have it edited. They dropped the ball on me. A year went by and they just still wouldn't fix the problems they left in my book. My wife read the book on the first night, and she said, geez, I found 17 mistakes in here already. Oh, okay. Oh, show me. So what happened was the editor put two words together, should have been separated. Uh, you know, I went back in my manual and looked at it, I did not write it this way.

SPEAKER_01: 6:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 6:51

So I was kind of disappointed. I wanted them to fix it, and they never got back to me. And a year went by, and the publisher called me, asked me if I wanted to reprint my book, and I said, Absolutely not. Not the way it is, you haven't fixed it. So uh the year had gone by, time was up. So I said, No, I'm gonna shelve it and I'm gonna rewrite it. I took from I guess the last five years, I finally decided to read to sit down and read my book, and I went, My goodness, who wrote this book? It's just a mess. You know, there's a lot of good material in there.

SPEAKER_01: 7:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 7:24

There was much that was unfinished. Oh, I can explain things. I should have elaborated more on certain topics, and so I decided to pull four chapters out of there. One of the chapters was a bit of my upbringing in life, and I figured that doesn't really need to be there, maybe in an autobiography down the road. So I I eliminated four chapters, rewrote uh six new chapters, and rewrote the entire book. And it took me five years to do that.

SPEAKER_00: 7:52

Wow.

SPEAKER_02: 7:53

I did uh 25, about 25 editings of my own. Yeah. Uh I just took one sentence, one paragraph at a time, and just wow, you know, just rewrote the whole thing. And I was quite happy that it was finally done.

SPEAKER_00: 8:12

I mean, that's a long time, and and you obviously put your meticulous, obviously, which is good.

SPEAKER_02: 8:18

Yeah, the reason why is because I run a painting outfit as well. So busy working all the time and keeping everybody, you know, happy and you know, family life a whole bit. So it does take a bit of time. But in my retirement year, it's gonna be different. Yes and more fine.

SPEAKER_00: 8:35

So tell us a little bit about what the book is about. I mean, we th I think we all know because we're already talking about the mind, but tell us a little bit about what that book is about if I was gonna go pick it up and read it.

SPEAKER_02: 8:45

Yeah, well, the subtitle itself says it all. It's uh how to liberate uh a trapped mind. A lot of young people today, even older folks, uh, are still trapped in their own thinking. You know, they blame the parents, they blame the circumstance, the environment they were raised in, etc. Um so a lot of people are trapped in their thinking. Why is this these experiences keep happening in my life? Why do I keep meeting the wrong person? Uh why do I always feel depressed? You know, doctors put us on medication, etc. What the the book really is about is delving into your own self and taking responsibility for who you are, the thoughts you put out, the actions you take in life. Um if one starts to change their thinking patterns, their you know, paradigms is what I call them, um, we get used to certain patterns throughout our life. And uh without questioning, growing up, you know, many concepts we were brought up with, we never questioned because this is our parents, these are our teachers, and this is what they taught me. But somewhere around uh a certain age, I think around 15, 16, I started to think about purpose, why are we here? So the book is about finding purpose, finding meaning in life, and becoming more awakened, spiritually connected, um with any and all genders. It doesn't really matter because we're all we're all one in the end, we're all creating the same source, same same energy, and it's just you know, it's it's all about improving self and becoming uh a more conscious human being, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 10:40

Yes, yeah. What do you so many people uh I find try to fix their circumstances and but you're focusing more on liberating the mind. So what's the what's the difference there?

SPEAKER_02: 10:57

Well, um to fix a circumstance, you really can't fix a circumstance, you're better off changing your circumstance. You look at the circumstance you're in, it's it's good to take notice of why this is happening. How did I get here? And most of the time, if we just look within our own self, we can see how we got here. And a lot most of the time, in fact, probably all of the time, you realize that I see how I got here, just by the way I behaved, the way I um you know presented myself, or maybe I chose the wrong job, and it's just not meeting my it's not connecting with my my passions, my love. Um I think that when you hone your own mind and you start thinking in the direction that serves you best, you'll find and it's not hard. It's it actually works pretty quick. Your mind is is instant. You know, whether a person believes in a higher source, which I do, I believe that higher source will get to work for you. If you tell yourself, oh, I'm this or I'm that, I I'm not built to do that, well, that's just what you're gonna experience because that's what you believe. So a lot of this is attached to belief. And I think that uh when you start looking at your patterns of thinking and you start to change your patterns of thinking, life itself begins to change and it happens rather quickly.

SPEAKER_01: 12:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 12:41

But uh belief is a huge part of moving ahead. And you know, if one believes in a certain ideology, what makes you believe that? Like where's the proof that this actually is a good thing for everyone, for all involved, you know? Yeah, the problem with a lot of uh these ideologies around the world is we get trapped in these uh cycles of right and left, good and bad, uh right. Yeah, you know, it's exhausting. It is exhausting and it's no fun. There's no freedom in it. There's too much uh bickering and arguing, debating. Uh so I like to stay right in the middle, bitter right, bit of left. I'm easy to get along with, you know, and I think that uh women these days are uh finally, you know, it's been happening for quite a while, but I've noticed that women are starting to get more and more in the higher positions in in uh careers, yes, etc. You know, even these days, a lot of women are doing great things on social, uh podcasting, etc., and becoming very independent.

SPEAKER_00: 13:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 13:50

And I'm a very non-conformist type of person because I find that conformity, I have no freedom. It's you know, if something is mandatory, um, you know, I that kind of gives me the yeeb jeebies. I don't know, you know, it's just what we recently went through a few years ago, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 14:09

Yes, yes, yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02: 14:12

It's important to become independent and you know, self self-educated, you know, self-motivated. You can't wait for things to come to you because they won't come that way. You know, if you're trying to materialize something in your life, you first got to be clear about what you want, know what you want. And I love to meditate. So I I focus on the goal I want, and I see the people involved in the goal that I want. If I want to uh best emulate someone who's doing what you want and learn from them, but then you have to get out there and actually take action and implement these uh ideas so that you can attain these goals.

SPEAKER_00: 14:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 14:58

Uh there are some hats where you just think about it and meditate on it and will it and it'll come. No, it doesn't work that way. No, you know, it's just too woo-woo. So in my sons, they stress that upon me because they know me quite well and I used to talk about these things, but they would always say, but you have to take action. Absolutely, you do, of course. You've yes, you can't take a vision and think about it all day, affirm it all day, year after year, and expect a result because you won't get that.

SPEAKER_00: 15:30

It's like that Bible verse uh, the Lord helps those who help themselves.

SPEAKER_02: 15:35

Perfectly said.

SPEAKER_00: 15:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 15:37

Exactly true. Exactly true.

SPEAKER_00: 15:39

Yeah, yeah. What about imagination? So you speak about the power of imagination.

SPEAKER_02: 15:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 15:46

So can you tell us how does it help us to shape our lives? Or does it?

SPEAKER_02: 15:52

It sure does. We use our imagination daily and don't realize it. And what I mean by that is it's uh by telling yourself, for example, I'm gonna have a fantastic day today. And if you stick with that thought process, you will have a fantastic day. But the second something happens in an early part of the day, the thoughts start to come, oh, is it gonna be one of these days again? So you're already imagining to have a shitty day. And it's best to look at that experience that you just had, because I go through it, and I put the stop to it right on the spot and say, okay, I recognize what's going on right now. There's a negative thing happening, experience of some kind, and I need to just shift my thinking, take a minute, you know, and just breathe and say, okay, the rest of the day is gonna just be fine. I'm gonna have a good day today, nothing's gonna get in my way. If so, I'll just brush it off.

SPEAKER_01: 16:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 16:50

And then so I just set my imagination on a positive end.

unknown: 16:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 16:54

Another way that I uh like to use the imagination is in meditation. So let's say I have a career in mind, and I've already I know the company I want to work for. I know the people that work there. So I would use my imagination, and this has worked for me 100% of the time, every time I've been doing this since I was, I guess, in my mid-20s somewhere, but not realizing the power behind it. So I would visualize the workplace. I would visualize myself getting a paycheck, doing the work, communing with all the workers there and doing a good job, etc. And I would do this every day until I got that job. But in that process, I would go and I would make myself known, let them know who I am, what I'm looking for, I'm interested. And uh I've done this with so many things in my life. Uh in fact, I found my wife this way. Funny thing with the universe is her and I have been together for I guess we're in our 41st year now, and I'm I'm still, I'm not afraid to say I'm still madly in love with her.

SPEAKER_00: 18:08

I just oh, and now I got shivers.

SPEAKER_02: 18:10

Oh, yeah, I love her so much, it's amazing. Oh we do so much for each other.

SPEAKER_00: 18:15

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 18:16

If if if things are to go, even in a relationship, if things are to go well, you've got to be able to communicate. You have to know what you both desire, no matter what it is, and share those thoughts. Don't keep secrets, always communicate. And never tell your person, uh, or I should say, always tell your person every single day, and I've never failed at how much you love them.

SPEAKER_00: 18:44

No, absolutely. I yeah, communication and it is absolutely so important. Yeah, and letting people know, because we walk around a lot of times assuming, especially as women, we walk around and it's like, oh, well, he didn't tell me you loved me today. What's going on? What you know, it really it just maybe he had to mention that. Yeah, maybe he went out the door a little quicker, but but uh you know, maybe he was running late. I don't know. But I but it's um yeah, it's not don't make all this like great big craziness up. But assuming we're bad that way.

SPEAKER_02: 19:22

Yeah, it's true. Assuming is uh always the wrong way to go. Yeah, you never know what's going on, right? No, you don't. It could be anything. Yeah, I like to just go with the flow and just let me know. Um, if I'm crossing a line or I'm saying the wrong thing, please let me know. Uh yes, we're human. That's right, that's right.

SPEAKER_00: 19:43

Absolutely, that's absolutely true.

SPEAKER_02: 19:46

So I think it's important. The power of the mind and imagination is is key to everything. Yeah, imagine what you want in your life and get after it.

SPEAKER_00: 19:56

Yes, I I a hundred percent agree. Yeah. And I just I would just want to say a couple of days ago, I woke up, I was like, I got out of bed and I remember I said, Oh man, I am so tired. And then I stopped myself. And I said, No, I'm not. I'm not tired. And all automatically, I didn't feel tired.

SPEAKER_02: 20:18

Yeah, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_00: 20:20

It is amazing. It is amazing. And that was just a little tiny thing.

SPEAKER_02: 20:24

Yeah. And it all starts on that first wake-up.

SPEAKER_00: 20:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 20:28

That first, you know, feeling gratitude, feeling happy to be alive. And you know, that's where it all starts. I remember when I was uh going through my own changes, still unsure about life, sure, unsure about myself. And I used to wake up that way. Well, you'd start negative thinking, and then I would just milk, and then I'd come downstairs, make coffee, I'd spill something, and oh, I'd get cranky. And next thing you know, my whole day turns out that way.

SPEAKER_01: 21:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 21:02

And I started to pay attention to those things. And then I started waking up a little more. Uh, you know, I've taken a lot of courses over the years as well, but these courses have taught me to change the way I think and the way I process my thoughts, the way I view life. And my whole life changed when I met my wife. And it's just been and I have an amazing relationship with all my kids, my grandkids.

SPEAKER_00: 21:27

Yeah. And I I agree. That that kind of thing doesn't just happen.

SPEAKER_02: 21:33

No, you have to create it.

SPEAKER_00: 21:35

You have to create it, absolutely. And you have to be mindful of it. And and and you know what, when I'm listening to you talk, you know, you're you're not a victim.

SPEAKER_01: 21:48

No.

SPEAKER_00: 21:48

And I think that's one of the biggest things that holds so many people back, especially if they've had a trauma in their childhood or even in their marriages, or a bad episode at work, they they can start to feel like they're victims. And when we feel like victims, we're gonna be treated like a victim.

SPEAKER_02: 22:10

Yeah, you have to get out of the victim mentality.

SPEAKER_00: 22:13

Yes, you do.

SPEAKER_02: 22:16

You know, it's the past is the past. It happened. Get over it. You know, it's uh if there's the trauma so bad, and it can be.

SPEAKER_00: 22:25

Yes, of course.

SPEAKER_02: 22:26

Therapy, I highly recommend because you know, I had trauma as a child growing up. I lost my mom before I was five years old. She died of cancer. You know, I've just recently lost my dad, but he was a mean dad growing up, just you know, very uneducated and just worked his whole life. So he managed to keep the family together when my mom died.

SPEAKER_01: 22:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 22:49

And uh, you know, the rest of the family are a bitter. I, you know, I've I made amends with my dad just uh recently and a few years ago, you know. We talked about things, got everything out, hugged and cried and you know, loved each other again. And he found out about my book just recently and uh was so proud because he heard I was nominated for the Chili's award in Chilliwack and stepped back to him. He just passed away, uh I think a month after all that happened. So he got to see everything uh and he died in his sleep, which was a very lucky man.

SPEAKER_00: 23:27

Yes, yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02: 23:29

He was 91 years old. Oh yeah, so he lived a long life.

SPEAKER_00: 23:34

Yes, yes, because I think in your dad's time and and uh you know past generations, my my parents, grandparents, that's just how they were.

SPEAKER_02: 23:47

That's right.

SPEAKER_00: 23:48

They they just they they just and it's almost like they didn't have time to think. You know, we are you know, we're certainly busy in our lives, but we but there's more access, like um knowledge is more accessible to us.

SPEAKER_02: 24:02

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 24:02

And in their time they had, you know, post-war effects like, oh yeah, I'd rather be here than back when they were growing up, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02: 24:11

You need to.

SPEAKER_00: 24:12

Yeah. So yeah, it's you know, not excusing people's behaviors, but but um, but we always have to look out the source. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. So you talk about mastering the self. So how does that actually look in daily life?

SPEAKER_02: 24:32

Well, to master the self, uh, you gotta understand your feelings, you gotta understand uh your thoughts, your beliefs, and take beliefs, for example. What is it the person really believes in? Uh, a lot of people are locked in these ideologies. Does it really serve you in a positive manner? Most of them don't, because you're always there's always a side. There's uh I'm on this side, and you know, these guys are on that side. And I don't like sites. I like more like the Tao, you know, that line in the middle of the yin yang, where there's a bit of right within us, a bit of left within us, but we're somewhat balanced.

SPEAKER_00: 25:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 25:16

And I think I think um being responsible, you know, in your life. For example, if I'm walking past my kitchen sink and I see there's dishes in the sink, I'm gonna take charge and get those cleaned up for my for my girl because that's just one less thing she has to do. She's a very busy woman as it is. And so, you know, if I have a candy wrapper in my hand because I just ate a chocolate bar, for example, do I throw it on the ground or do I have integrity? And am I gonna hold it until I find a garbage can?

SPEAKER_01: 25:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 25:50

I mean, these are parts of the things that, you know, in mastering yourself is having in integrity. And this is what is lacking in a lot of people, I find, is they just don't have much of integrity. Either they don't understand it, or the circumstances they created for themselves have put them in that that state, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 26:10

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02: 26:11

But uh just knowing your thoughts, um being conscious of the food you put in your body, the exercise programs you might have, um how you associate with family, with friends, with your peers, seniors, etc. Just all those things. And uh whatever your career is, you know, your chosen career, do you love it? Does it uh you know, does it serve you in a very uh harmless manner? Is it uh is it a love you have? You know? Um but I think the biggest part is just knowing your thoughts. You know, knowing your thoughts and knowing yourself.

SPEAKER_00: 26:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 27:00

If you know something's gonna trigger you, don't don't play that, don't play with that. Just don't do what triggers you.

SPEAKER_00: 27:08

Absolutely. Don't push, don't push those buttons.

SPEAKER_02: 27:12

Some people love to push those buttons with others.

SPEAKER_00: 27:16

Yeah. I want to go back to relationships again for a minute because I want to ask a question. Uh something I wrote down here. I wanted to make sure I asked you. So people will say, I keep attracting the same type of person. And what would you say is actually being attracted? Like how, like, how do you so you know, if maybe people are attracting angry people, or people are attracting mean, or people are attracting loving. How is it that we're doing that?

SPEAKER_02: 27:47

That's a paradigm that's been built over many, many years. Uh, maybe a person witnessed their parents behaving in a certain way. So, as far as, you know, if if a pattern started that you were attracting somebody that was violent in your life, and once you have gone through that relationship, it's very harsh in the end. You leave that alone. Because you've built that within yourself, you're going to attract a similar person again. And it's not this, there's only one way to break that pattern. That pattern will continue for your entire life if you stay in that state of mind. So instead of saying, Why do I keep meeting these crazy people, you know, I personally to master self, you you must learn to meditate. You must be able to shut down, take moments of peace and quiet, and just talk to yourself. Um if if you believe in a higher source, that's where I go to. And I I humbly ask that my circumstances, it's up to me to change them, and I want you. I don't ask for the help, I demand the help because we are together, we work together as source and I, as well as yourself. Um because whatever you believe, you will manifest. There's no question. You know, if I believe um I'm ugly or I'm I'm just not capable of having a relationship, then you'll continue to have that. To break that pattern, you have to top within the self and demand a stop to this madness that you've been going through and say, I want this pattern to stop now. I want to begin a whole new night, a whole new life. And please help me meet someone that is of equal mind, a loving person, uh, that doesn't judge me and begin this relationship. For me, I the way it happened for me is I and if you get emotional in that process, even better. Because when you put emotion into your meditation, it it just makes it speeds everything up. It you know, e in motion. If you tap into your emotion and you're really sincere about what you want, I guarantee it's impossible not to get. So, and I know this to be factual. I used to meditate uh about finding the perfect person for me. And whenever you put that kind of energy out, the universe brings you back way more than you expect, way better. Everything is so much more vibrant, the experiences are beyond what your imagination. And I used to meditate this way a lot. I was tired of being alone because I, you know, I I have many acquaintances, uh, have many friends growing up, but when I decided to close my doors and get into my books, I became very uh lonely, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 31:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 31:01

I became alone, and as time passed, I noticed the years went by and I just didn't have anybody uh in my life yet that I wanted. There have been girls, but it just it never lasted. Something didn't feel right. So one night I was on my way to a nightclub that I used to work in. I was a doorman there, and this was after a few years of wanting. And you know, I'd tear up and I would cry like I I really wanted devote my life to someone. Uh someone I can spoil, someone I can love my entire life, completely committed. No one else. And I was walking to the club one night and I get in there, and this woman walked in with uh her sister and a few other girls, and somehow my eyes met hers. She didn't recognize yet, but as soon as I saw her eyes, I knew right away, and I looked at my buddy next to me. I said, I don't know who that is, but I'm gonna marry that woman someday. And I was too shy, so I didn't ask her anything. I just I watched her. Uh I watched her behavior. She used to come in on Tuesday nights, lazy nights, and Saturday nights. So I'd be working those nights and I would always watch her for about three months just to see if she came in with a guy, if she was married. I had no idea. And then one day her girlfriend came up to me and says, I know this person that is very interested in you. She's very attracted to you. And I said, I think I know who you're talking about. It turns out it was her. I said, Well, how can I meet her? Yeah, I said, How can I meet her? So she told me, Go for a haircut. She's a hairdresser. And I did. I went there, she started washing my hair, and I just fell in love. Instantly. And that same day she asked me out on a date. And I said, Yeah, of course. So one evening she came to pick me up and went to an outdoor concert. And it was me, her and her sister, and three other girls in the backseat. And workday conversation came up, and my wife said her birthday is Halloween. I said, That's weird. Mine is the day after. Oh, first. And her sister was also a Scorpio, November 10th.

unknown: 33:10

Ah!

SPEAKER_02: 33:10

So you know, just things started to connect, and we got to this concert. We didn't even watch one show. We just tripped together out in the field and got to know each other. Went back home, and we've never been separated ever since.

SPEAKER_01: 33:24

Oh, that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02: 33:26

She asked me to marry her.

SPEAKER_01: 33:28

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02: 33:29

Yeah, absolutely. But I'll pick the time.

SPEAKER_01: 33:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 33:32

We got married high noon on April 8th, 1988. And oh, you know, it's just we've never been separated.

SPEAKER_00: 33:39

Oh, that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02: 33:40

June 7th, 1985.

SPEAKER_00: 33:42

Yeah. So I mean, I I totally get it. I totally get it. And for for anybody out there who's looking for somebody or wants that relationship, that's how you do it.

SPEAKER_02: 33:56

That's how you do it. That's how you do it.

SPEAKER_00: 33:58

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02: 33:59

You have to make an agreement with yourself. You got to stick with it. You got to be honest. You have it, you have to have integrity. You can't be a cheater. You can't be a player. You know, if that's who you are, then you won't have that kind of relationship. That's another note is children. You know, a lot of kids on the streets today. I'm I'm sorry to say, but it a lot of it is the parents' fault. Not all of it, but a lot of it is the parents' fault because I see it even today. Parents don't care about their kids as much, you know. So with my kids, I was all about communicating with them growing up. They didn't understand the word can't, don't. You know, they because I always told them there's nothing you can't accomplish in this life. And whatever you want to do, I'm 100% behind you.

SPEAKER_01: 34:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 34:46

So I supported them throughout their lives, and now they run my company, and you know, they're we're doing quite well. I'm very happy. And uh I just love my life so much because I'm in charge of my own.

SPEAKER_00: 35:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 35:02

My own circumstances.

SPEAKER_00: 35:04

I think for I think for those kids out on the streets, yeah, you know, like I'm listening to you talk, and it's like, how else could your kids have turned out? You know, you've got that positivity and all of that there. And I think I uh I deal a lot with generation generational trauma, a lot of the women who write in my books. And and uh that's how I see it. You know, I don't know where, you know, maybe those parents, and again, that's not an excuse, you know. You know, parents would be you gotta pick yourself up and fix yourself so that your kids are fixed, so your grandkids are fixed.

SPEAKER_02: 35:43

Agreed.

SPEAKER_00: 35:44

It stops with us, it does, you know, and it is what it is, and we can't we can't go back and change our parents' lives or our grandparents, but we can change our future generations.

SPEAKER_02: 35:56

True. Yeah, it's not blaming our parents. We have to accept that it was a different time for them.

SPEAKER_00: 36:01

That's right.

SPEAKER_02: 36:02

You know, respect and love your parents for that you're here now, yeah. Now you create a better future for your kids and grace. Yes. And that's what I consciously decided. I even said to my kids that I'm the first generation, you know, a little inflated, but I didn't like my past with my my dad. Uh had my mom lived, I mean, he remarried, and I had a wonderful stepmom. She was amazing. I could talk to her about anything. But had my mom stuck around, maybe my life would be different, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 36:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 36:36

But uh yeah, and I uh I used to seek solace in religion, you know. I was born-raised Catholic, and just things didn't seem right. Uh, heard too many stories, and I found that too many ritualistic things, and then I, you know, shift over to a Christian, another Christian base, and they had so many rules and so many, you know, you're born in sin. And I never believed that idea in the first place, but and and women are creating the original sin. How disgusting a comment, you know, a status from the church and stuff. So I just uh decided I would study all different faiths, philosophies, and and delve into their minds and their way of thinking. And wow, did I discover a lot?

SPEAKER_00: 37:26

Yes, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 37:28

So for me, religion is not the way, but for many thousands, maybe millions of people, the religion is the way because people they're accessing community, and I find people in the church are very friendly. Yes, I think mosques are very, very gentle and very loving and that kind of thing. But I'm an eagle, I like to soar, I like to fly. I can be a Buddhist if I'm in that environment, I can be a Christian if I'm in that environment. Yeah, I judge none, you know. Yes, I tend to follow uh no way as way. That's just my philosophy. Yeah, and I like that because it's uh it's a non-jentmal, uh non-judgment uh reality. Yeah, and I love all people, you know, we're all connected, and I find a smile is contagious.

SPEAKER_00: 38:20

Absolutely it is, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02: 38:23

You know, if someone doesn't smile back, well, there's probably there's something going on in their lives, and that's right.

SPEAKER_00: 38:29

You can't judge. You never know. You never know what's happening with people. Yeah. So we're gonna have to close here pretty quick. I'm sad to say. I knew that I would want to just keep talking because we could we could do another. I yes, I love this conversation. But I wanted to ask you before we close, I have one more question that I want to find out from you. So, for someone that's listening right now who feels stuck in patterns, whatever that pattern might be, patterns that don't serve them. What do you think the first quiet shift they can make should be?

SPEAKER_02: 39:06

The very first thing that one should the first thing you should do is recognize the pattern you're in. Recognize how you got there. So it's this is where thinking comes in, critical thinking. Sit quietly, no distractions, and think about your circumstance, how you got there, what created this pattern. Maybe you could find out where it originated. And then realize that, okay, um I can't blame anyone else. I have to look at myself and blame myself for this condition. So how about I change the way I think? I want to change this pattern. So instead of doing steps towards a similar pattern, maybe change your steps. Change the way you approach life. Change that's the key is to changing patterns. Look at the patterns you're in that have created this situation. How can I break it? Well, I'm gonna change. Maybe I'll quit doing this, maybe I'll stop doing that. Uh, maybe I'll treat myself with more more kindness, stop talking negatively. Yourself. Tell yourself you're an idiot or you're a dumbass. What do you do? Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 40:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 40:18

We're all we all do this. Yes, we do. And myself included. And when I do catch myself, and I catch myself pretty quick, I correct that right away. As soon as you tell yourself you're feeling this negativity, talk to yourself and say, no, no, no, I'm not going to continue this because the thing with the source in the universe is it's instant. It happens like instantly. You can change patterns right now. Yes. And there's the the the moment ahead of you is not here yet. But that moment can be created by a new pattern you're creating now. New thoughts, new feelings. Maybe new people in your life. Absolutely. If certain people in your life are creating these patterns, fire them.

unknown: 41:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 41:05

You know? Yep. Absolutely. And we have to do that sometimes. Whenever we're feeling like we're being dragged down, we have to let go.

SPEAKER_00: 41:13

Yes. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_02: 41:15

And send them love anyway.

SPEAKER_00: 41:17

Yep. That's all you can do.

SPEAKER_02: 41:18

That's it.

SPEAKER_00: 41:19

Yeah. Well, that was great. Thank you so much for that advice. So I want to let all of the listeners know that I will have Mikhail's information in the show notes. So if you want to reach out to him, if you want to grab that spectacular book that's behind him, which I think you should, because if this man with all of this wisdom was sharing with us today, that book is going to be helpful. So thank you so much. I appreciate you so much for being here. It was a it was um it was a very uplifting conversation. And I just love it when when we can talk about stuff that helps everyone.

SPEAKER_02: 42:01

Yeah, I love that.

unknown: 42:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 42:03

And the book can be found on uh found on Amazon or on my webpage, which is your mindoryourlife.com.

SPEAKER_00: 42:09

Perfect. Okay. Well, we'll have, I think we'll we'll have the link certainly to your website. Sounds good on there as well. So perfect. Okay, well, thank you so much. And thank you everyone for watching uh another episode. And we will see you next time. Take care, everybody. Bye.

SPEAKER_02: 42:27

Bye, everyone.