Women Like Me Stories & Business

JANIE STEELE: Stop Apologizing for Wanting More

• Julie Fairhurst • Episode 176

Share episode

Send us a text

What if the life you want starts when you stop apologizing for wanting it? Julie sits down with author and realtor Janie Steele, married at 16, mom by 20, now a grandmother at 50, to talk about reinvention that’s brave, messy, and deeply human. 

Janie didn’t just write a debut novel at 50; she self-published a 399-page, dialogue-rich story she’s actively pitching for the screen. Along the way, she faced divorce, grief for a chapter that ended, and the rollercoaster of algorithms and one-star reviews, and still chose belief over noise.

We dig into the guilt that shadows ambition after motherhood, how to protect your voice from comparison, and why “midlife” is closer to 35 than we like to admit. 

Janie shares practical insights on creative consistency, building momentum without permission, and turning manifestation into action: pitching city by city, sending physical packets, and treating every step as proof of commitment. 

We also explore the masks we wear, parent, partner, professional, and the relief of finally feeling like yourself again. The outcome she’s chasing isn’t just numbers; it’s impact, especially for causes she loves, and the chance to show women 50+ that record-breaking dreams don’t have an age limit.

At its core, this conversation is a permission slip: you can want a bigger life and still love the one you lived. You can accept guilt without letting it steer. You can be both tender and relentless. If you’ve felt late, tired, or behind, consider this your sign to start anyway. 

Subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to tell us the first step you’ll take toward your next chapter.


Janie's Book:   https://a.co/d/bUazSzY

Janie's Website:  https://janiesteele.com/

Join the Movement - Women Like Me Community

Who Is Julie Fairhurst?

Speaker • Author • Business Strategist • Founder of Women Like Me

Julie Fairhurst is a force of nature disguised as a woman with a pen and a business brain built for impact. As the founder of the Women Like Me Book Program, she has opened the door for women around the world to share their truth, heal their past, and rise into their power. Since 2019, she has published more than 30 books and over 350 true-life stories — without charging a single writer a dime! Why? Because women’s stories deserve daylight, not gatekeeping.

With 34 years in sales, marketing, and successful business leadership, Julie knows how to turn storytelling into influence and influence into income.

Her mission is clear and unapologetic: break generational trauma one story at a time and help women elevate both emotionally and financially. She doesn’t just publish books, she builds brands, confidence, and possibility, giving women the tools to rewrite their futures, grow their businesses, and lift their families with them.


Julie's Website




SPEAKER_00:

Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of Women Like Me Stories and Business. I'm your host, Julie Fairhurst, and I am dying, I mean dying to have this conversation today with this lady because as I did my research about her, she is like, like, there's so many things that she has done, and her mindset that is in me as well. So I'm so excited to do this. So let me tell you a little bit about her. So today's conversation is for women standing at the edge of a new chapter, wondering if it's too late, too risky, too selfish to choose themselves now. My guest, Janie Steele, is living proof that reinvention doesn't expire at 40, 50, or beyond. After marrying at 16 and becoming a mother at 20 and spending decades building her life around others, Janie made a bold decision to start again, creatively, personally, and powerfully at 50. So if you have ever felt the fire stir after the world told you your biggest years are behind you, this is the conversation that you want to be here for. Janie, thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited to dive in.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my gosh, thank you. You're welcome, but thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_00:

Perfect. Okay. So my first question is you said that you were going big at 50. So what does that actually mean? Was it emotionally, financially, mentally? Was it all?

SPEAKER_01:

It it is all. It is all in then some. Um, it's it's a lot. It always started. I was gonna go big. I wanted to go big. That was my plan. Um, and it kind of hit me out of left field because I had I'd thought about it and dabbled with it in my 40s, but just kind of put it to bed. And um, and then it just broke. And I mean, it broke. Like there's it's beyond the books that I've have written over the years and more than I'm even currently writing. It's beyond the books. It's I want the whole freaking kitten caboodle of everything I've ever thought, every thought that's ever ran through my head um is going to be mine.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that.

SPEAKER_01:

It is absolutely gonna be mine. I'm gonna have a huge podcast someday. I'm still gonna be on the big screen someday because that was my childhood dream. Um, and you know, you have to prioritize a little bit. Like, prioritize a little bit. I've got like 10 things going on at once between my book and just social media and trying to push my book and jump it into podcasts, um, and two books I'm writing at once. So you can't do everything at once. I need to kind of make sure I'm focused a little, but big is not the word to describe what I'm after.

SPEAKER_00:

Wow, I love that. I love that. And and and I what I said in the beginning is true. My I was like that as well. And you know, you give to your family and and and your kids and your and your parents, and you just give, give, give, give, give. And sometimes we forget that we had dreams or have dreams, and sometimes they're just laying dormant back there.

SPEAKER_01:

It is so hard. Yeah, it is so hard because what you just said. I and I I listened to a couple of your podcasts, and I think one was from a few years ago, and you said something that really struck with me. You were explaining to someone that every moment you've been in your life is where you were supposed to be, and I feel the exact same way, but it's so hard because I've always told my kids they kept me alive. Like I loved being a mother so much. And then so to some people to hear when they hear you describe what you just said, you know, your dreams were dormant, your you was dormant, your you was different hats for different people. Some of them will think like, so you were miserable. No, I wasn't, I wasn't miserable. No, yes. No, I I wasn't miserable, but that's what they hear and see from you because you are so excited about this next chapter and so like oomph in it. And you're describing what you dealt with, what you felt, and you're trying to keep it positive because it I I would go back and redo every minute of my kid's childhood. I would do that 10 times, rinse and repeat, and never get to this chapter. Yes. If that was possible, that's not possible.

SPEAKER_00:

No.

SPEAKER_01:

So you've gotta, you have to decide to jump in and and just squeeze it for all of it.

SPEAKER_00:

And the thing that I love, Janie, about all of that is that we are just so darn wise. We, you know, I wasn't, I I would say like it was a wake-up. Like when I was 30, I kind of woke up a little bit. And then when I turned 40, I woke up a little bit more. And then when I turned 50, I woke up a little bit more. And and we just, for whatever reason, we just do. And we have so much wisdom. It just, I just wish I could shake some women because they feel like, oh, I was just a mother, or I was just this, or I was just that. But but but you have all that inside of you, all of that, and it's so important. So I I just love, I love, I love what you're doing. And and I'm going big too. I'm with you. I'm with you. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, what you just said is hard too, because I do have, you know, friends and family my age, and uh I've got more friends and I've got a lot of realtor friends, and some of them are struggling with it. But there are, you know, happy midlife women. And I think it can be a tough conversation at times because I think they think you maybe you look down on them because they're perfectly happy in life and they don't want anything more. And you don't look down on them. No, not at all. Awesome. You're completely happy and fulfilled. Like absolutely squeeze that love every freaking minute of it. Yes. Uh, but some of us aren't, you know. There's just, I think, I don't know. I think some of it stems from um my youngest daughter is like this. There's just a dreamer in some of us, and I don't care how much you love your life going through raising your kids and that hustle and bustle and that grind, because it is a fucking grind in itself. Absolutely. It's a little dreamer, and you never dies, you know, like it's there.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, yeah. Love that, love that. So I uh one of the um moments you realized is I can't keep abandoning myself. So when did you finally realize that you were abandoning yourself? Or did or do or was that ever an aha moment for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Pulling the trigger was an aha moment because I I never thought I would. And and that's in reference to my current divorce. Um I had always thought about it, and I thought about my after plan, and I thought about my dreams. And that's why I've been I've been writing behind the scenes for well, since I was little, since I was young. Um on again, off again over the years with kids. I'd I jump into competitions, writing competitions, write something. Then I wouldn't write anything for two years. But the last five years, I really picked back up on my writing pretty consistently because two and then three of my kids were out of the house, and it was down to just my youngest in high school. Um, I was a realtor, I still am a realtor. So my schedule was flexible. And as I kept writing, finally, and I remember telling family and even my husband and my youngest, like, I have never written so much so consistently in two decades. And it's just flowing out of me. Songs, short stories, long stories. And that's when it really started bubbling and just bubbling. And like I was jumping at every chance I could to write. And I could feel that. And that just was a breakthrough. But when I turned 50, I was almost a grandmother. Um, my grandson was born five months later. So the turning 50 kind of hit me in a way I wasn't expecting because I'm not afraid to be 50 at all. Like I've been 30 since I was probably 10. Like I've been going on 30. You know, when I was 15, I thought I was 30. And when I was 40, I thought I was, I still think I'm 30. I still feel like I'm like I don't feel 50. Yes. I just turned 51 last week. So um this whole thing started a year ago. And then I had my grandson. And that was a lot of really great emotion, but it also spoke to wow, like how much time you have left. Um because we we say 50 is midlife. 50's not midlife. Let's get real fucking honest here. Midlife's about 35.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

In terms of the average you live to about 77, 78.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, that's when midlife, thankfully, my kids at that point, you know, I had them and they were growing. Um, I love the way I did it, honestly. And I know people are waiting, even my own daughters, you know, one just became a mother at 30, and I already had all four of my kids by the time I was 30. But I love the way I do it because now I can enjoy my grandkids and love them. Um, but I can really spend time with the wisdom you talked about and the knowledge and the excitement and just yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

No, for for sure, for sure. And I think that um I I I've experienced the same thing. Like, I don't have, like, I don't have I don't have 50 years left on this earth. Well, maybe, who knows with technology?

SPEAKER_01:

True, true. But what how are you feeling when you're you know 80?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, no, exactly, exactly. And so you start to feel because I I feel that in you, that sense of urgency. And I have that same feeling in me, that sense of urgency, uh, about about, you know, definitely we're living longer and healthier and all that kind of stuff. But my girlfriend's husband just passed away at 52. Oh, you know, from a heart attack. So we don't know how we don't really know how long we have.

SPEAKER_01:

And that shit just kills me. Like, yes, your mind now, because I will be fixated on that. And so sad for her.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yeah, it's very, very sad, yes. But who was it? Les Brown, I think, who said, you know, the graveyard is uh is full of people who didn't achieve their dreams or who, you know, are full of dreams that never never will be, or something to that effect, he says. And again, I agree with you. Lots of people are happy, and that's cool, and and everybody is on their own path, and and that's that's fabulous. But for those women who are wanting a different path, it it can be it just step, make a step. And so it must have been uh were you afraid when you made that?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I'm fucking terrified.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I'm still terrified at moments.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm still, but you know, it all kind of has branched into a that a layer that is at least emotion and excitement, really. You know, you are terrified. Um, and you don't, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I self-published, I probably published it too fast. A lot of mistakes, a lot of errors. But for me in the moment, it was just, and people have said to me, Why did you do that? Why this? Why like why didn't you wait? I I couldn't. I just couldn't. It was I had to do it to almost then force myself to stay with it. Yes. Like and I just did it to get over that threshold and kind of then run forward.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So what what so what happened then when you kind of cleared cleared things away, the things I guess that that weren't weren't uh feeding you anymore or helping you anymore? I I don't know how else to put it, but you you seem like you cleared the plate.

SPEAKER_01:

Um it was very, very hard because I this second time around I was married for 27 years. Um and it was very hard. Um my husband and I are friends, but we did not have a third chapter in us. I'll just leave it at that. Um life is very hard. Um and you know, I almost backtracked a few times and just thought, you know, life is good. I'm a very grateful person, uh, probably because of my childhood. And it's very hard for me to really ever not be grateful. So ending a marriage, moving on, thinking of myself is I just talking about it makes me cringe because a lot of women don't do that in general. And I certainly am in a category where I feel like I'm betraying my soul to think about myself and not be grateful. Like I believe if I think about myself for too long, someone I love is gonna die or be crippled. Like I'm gonna be punished. Um, so it was very hard. And the book, I was writing the book when I still wasn't even sure, you know, divorce-wise what was gonna happen. Um and I just pulled the band-aid off. I just pulled the band-aid off, and that's why I kind of published so quickly. Maybe to give myself something to distract myself with, um which worked and helped, you know. There's a lot of there's a lot of grief um in midlife when your kids age out of the system, so to speak. There's a lot of grief. Um like I said, I go back and do it a million times every minute, every headache. Like, and I knew it in the moment that I would. Like I was madly in love with being a mother. It was everything. Um, and then it's gone and it's different. And you grieve that time. So for me, that made it not easy, but something to focus on of getting to myself, of choosing myself for the first time because there wasn't a kid at home. You know, I feel I do, I I think it's harder for women who are 50 and they might still have a 10 and a 12-year-old, you know, 14-year-old, because that that would kill me. My youngest at the time was 20. She'll be 21 in a few months off at college. It makes it a little easier, I think, because I would be so torn if they were younger.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. When you first published your book, what surprised you about it? Or was there anything that surprised you?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god, everything surprised everything. I there is so much stuff behind the scenes. Like Amazon is not a bookseller. Amazon's algorithm. Oh my god, like there's so many, how long it takes to get traffic. Um which makes sense when you think about it. You know, it's not a three-minute song, it's a commitment someone has to make to read a book. Yes, you know, eight, ten hours, and readers are dwindling. And I'm not on audiobook yet. So I need to do that. I need to stop writing things I'm writing. That's one of the like the priorities. I can't need to get it on audio because everybody says romance women want it on audio. Um, I really need to do that. I need to put that on my priority list. Yes. But behind the scenes, there is um so much competition, crazy competition. It's so hard to get someone to read. It's even harder. Like, only like 15% of readers leave a review. And I started off with really great reviews early on until recently. And I got now like on Goodreads, I think I'm up to like six or seven one-star reviews, which is really nerve-wracking. But then you go through the books, you go through the huge hits, you know, some of Colleen Hoover's books, and she's got 100,000 five stars, but she does end up, you know, she has 10,000 one stars, and that makes you feel better. You're like, Yes, okay, that was a huge hit. And for whatever reason, some people just hated it. But I've only got like a hundred reviews, so it really, you know, counts in the stomach. Um how honestly, one of the biggest things, and I should have known this, because I don't consider myself an author. I call myself a storyteller because I don't know, author in my head is a very esteemed sort of thing. Um, I think a lot of them are storytellers, to be honest with you, and they don't want to admit it. Yeah. Not necessarily in the author category that I'd hold them to, but some are. But a lot of them are really cocky and condescending that I've interacted with. Um, and I I don't enjoy that part because I don't like elitism in any category. I I don't care. You could be Gandhi and I don't care. You're human, you know, leave the ego at the door. Yes. That's been tough because I think I'm a little too bold. I actually have thought, like of these one, if these one stars, some of them, not all of them, because the book's not for everybody. The way I write is not for everybody. But I've thought, is this someone who just hates me on social media? Because I like, did I piss somebody off? And it's not that they couldn't like it because a lot of people may not like it, but it's just like five words they said that it really have nothing to do with the book. Yes. And I'm like, yeah, really, because I'm pretty nice on social media because I'm yeah in a really good place. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, I try I so we've published in the Women Like Me program so far, uh, 32 books. So they're all collaborative books, and then I've got my own books that I've done. And reviews hardly happen at all. I know we're selling, I know people are reading, but they're not leaving reviews. So it's, you know, it's just one of those things. What I've changed though is I now ask everybody for a Google review. And with a Google review, I actually can respond and thank people or ask them what I could have done. You know, just just more, it's more engaging. So, but but I understand I understand what you're saying because when I first started, and I was never getting, you know, I'd be begging people, can you just leave it, can you ask people to leave a review, leave a review? And and and it just became uh too, I I just yeah, it was too much. So now I don't even if I get one review, we get one review. What can you do? And I know that we have to be careful because I do know that there are programs out there and there are uh groups that you can join and you can they read your book. You you're all giving each other reviews. So it's so hard to say what reviews are are, you know, how many the authors or books, whether all their hundred thousand reviews are real or not real. I don't know. I I get it though.

SPEAKER_01:

Because people naturally assume it well, it's so funny to learn what people assume goes on behind the scenes. And a lot of that does go on. And and it go, but it goes on for the for the top tier people too. Yes. Like I think it just goes on for those scrapping at the bottom.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh no, no.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, I'm not a reader. That's a problem. Like I've read, you know, the book ever's Prince of Tides. Yeah. Um, but I'm not an active reader. Um because reading other people's works, it gets in my head. It gets stuck in my head, and I end up sounding like them, writing like them, and and I can't break away from that. Um so yeah, I get hit up all online all the time on Instagram in particular, of like, you know, let's read each other. And well, I'm a little busy right now.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Yeah. And you know, I I understand that because I I'm not sure if I mentioned it to you, but I was in real estate until a year and a half ago when I retired, and I was in it for 34 years. And when and I remember when I was really struggling, I had to stop looking. Back then it was newspapers, I had to stop looking at the newspaper ads of all the top people because it made me feel inferior and it and it got in my head and it affected my self-esteem and my confidence level. So I and I when I realized it, I'm like, you know what, I'm done. I don't, I don't care. You do you. I'm focusing on me. I don't want to know what you are all doing out there. I don't care what you're doing. I wish you the best, but I am gonna put blinders on. And when I did that, my confidence level came up. So I totally get that.

SPEAKER_01:

Even in real estate, you can buy you can buy credentials. Yes, you can subscribe to stuff and get the little stickers and stars, and someone, you know, they don't even understand the person at the top. You know, it's a pyramid sort of thing. They they take credit for all 50 people under them. Yeah, that infuriates me too. Um, I do pretty well in real estate. People don't know how hard it is to even be over a certain metric at all. And you know, I've done really well the last several years. I've been a real agent, I think about 10 years. Yeah. Um, so yeah, that's it. There's there's fishy shit that goes on everywhere.

SPEAKER_00:

There there is, and and I and I think the key for for especially women, because men seem to have that block, they can just deal with that. We take it to the heart, and we, you know, we wake up at three in the morning and it's like, oh my god, she sold that many books, and oh my, I've only sold this many, and why is nobody le you know, and and we just it's harmful to our so I think good for you not reading other people's stuff. You you're protecting your mindset, and I think that that's so important.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's it's I mean, I'll tell you what, just last week, I mean, my book is obviously very crazy lowly ranked. Um, I just did a big good good readings that NetGalley investment into marketing it, um, stuff like that. I'm still marketing it all over, but I don't give a shit how much it sells. The book was meant for the big screen. So I'm doing more later this afternoon, but I sent off 10 beautiful packets to places in Nashville um because it's the five or six chapters are based in Nashville. It's written in a very cinematic way, it's almost written as a screenplay. There's a lot of dialogue back and forth. And I started off with a beautiful letter and you know, a pitch, and like this belongs on the screen. Yeah. Case closed. And I'm telling you right now, Julie, someone's gonna pick it up. Absolutely. Nashville and Cleveland, I'm focused on next. Then I'm hitting Hollywood. Like it will be on the screen. Like I just know it will be. It's just women-led, strong characters, midlife, reinvention. There's some really great love scenes, we'll call it that in there. Yeah. It's uh a cliffhanger and there's mystery. It's just meant for the screen. Yeah. I and people look at me and they're like, well, they they just think you have to sell a million copies. And actually, when you research it, you don't. It's actually you don't have to, you just have to get in front of somebody who sees a story.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. It's not, yes, absolutely, absolutely. I I agree with you a hundred percent. So what does success look like to you in this chapter compared to your earlier life?

SPEAKER_01:

Um I think so. I mean, I think success looks the same in terms of the the core of it, like the core of just being happy, like feeling good with yourself. I feel I've had terrible periods where I didn't feel good with myself. Um, like terrible periods, like peel me off the floor in a fetal position and keep me from, you know, climbing on the train tracks. But I've had really good periods where I'm good with myself and I'm good with myself. So to me, that's I'm successful already. Um there's definitely I'll put in the category of, you know, I don't want to say material things. Um, what would be a word similar, but they're not material things. I don't want what I want to, you know, fly jets and jets out all over the world. And yes, like um I honestly can't wait to give back to people, to animals in particular. It's a huge, huge passion of mine. Um, I just can't wait to be in a position just to do really good things.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know if people will believe that about me uh when they hear that. Um God, that makes me so fucking excited when I think about the ability to do that. Because, you know, you do it to hopefully a lot of people do it to some capacity that they're able to do it. You know, you've got to eat and you've got to take care of yourself and all of that. Um but that's what I really look forward to. Yeah. That would, you know, be in some category of success. Plus, you know, yeah, there is, I guess, some amount, I hate to use the word ego, but I I want to break fucking records. Yes. I want to prove to people you can still do it. You can do it from this background, that background, you can do it with no experience. Fucking learn, like absolutely as much as you can. Network, grow it, do it, feel it. I want to break every record possible for someone over 50.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, and you know the wonderful thing about that, Janie, is that we're watching. There's people watching. Yes, they are. They are. And and and eventually, you and you'll never know. Just like with this, with this, with this podcast, you will never know how many women watch this and go, yeah, maybe I just need to start. Maybe I need to figure this out. Yeah, I feel like I've lost myself. I mean, I love my family, I love everybody. I but but I'm gone. Because we as women, we give, give, give, give, give. And sometimes we end up empty at the end of the day. And so you just don't know who you're gonna help. And I think that it's I I think um, I think it's wonderful what you're doing. And and I love your energy and I love your enthusiasm. And I think we need to speak more like that. Speak what you want. You know, I'm going to be on the screen, I'm going to do this.

SPEAKER_01:

Manifest it. Absolutely. You had a guest a few years ago talking about uh manifesting, and I um I've always known of it, but I just really got into it in terms of it. It started as just meditating, but now it's probably branched over into a manifestation sort of thing. I it just it makes me feel alive. Like how can I be wrong? It makes me feel really good about moving forward.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Yeah, it can be, absolutely. But that that that uh that belief and that hope and that that uh well it's not even hope, but it's belief. So important that we have that for whatever we're doing in our work in our life, because that belief is what is going to is gonna help us to get where we need to go. Believe is my favorite word. I have I have little believe signs everywhere. You go to my you go to my front door and you ring my doorbell, and there's this belief, believe sign hanging there.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, I call it delusional, and I'm happy to be delusional. Like I'm so happy to be delusional. And it's funny because if you listen to the really big those those who have crossed over well into beyond heightened levels of success, you know, they make the videos, they make the speeches. And it's funny because I have a lot of people in my life that boy, they love listening to that from others, from complete strangers. Like they buy into it, they love it, it makes them feel warm gooey inside. But they hear you say it, and it's like, are you okay? Yeah, you are yeah, no, I don't know. I'm I'm fucking delusional. Yeah, and that's my path.

SPEAKER_00:

And I don't know what's because I think we they get maybe uncomfortable because you're pulling away, right? There's a there's a there's a a shift happening in you that possibly is not happening at them, which can tip definitely make them feel uncomfortable, unfortunately. But I get it, but you know, we can't we still have to go, we still have to move forward, we can't dim our light for for anyone. Um, we're here to do great things.

SPEAKER_01:

Outside of obviously my desire, where I do want to, I want to have an impact. And I've felt that way since I was a kid. Like I want to have an impact on people's worlds, on their lives, on people who need it. Um and you know, animals, like I said, is a huge passion for me, dogs in particular. But there is things, there are things that um, you know, for the people who might be uncomfortable with you, you do want to make their world slightly better. So, you know, they're they're gonna benefit from you know, if you cross over and you and you have outside of the success of being just happy inside the material, you know, yes, for lack of a better word, they're gonna benefit. Yes, yes, that's never gonna change for me, who I love, regardless of whether they're supportive or not.

SPEAKER_00:

Of course, absolutely. So if a woman's listening and she feels it's too late or she's too tired, or it's too she's too far behind, what do you want her to know?

SPEAKER_01:

Ooh, um it's not it's not guiltless. So when you're feeling guilty, that's normal. You're supposed to feel guilty. And I think if you were a decent mom, um you're gonna feel guilty. Because again, you have to you have to begin to say things to yourself and for yourself and about yourself that sounds like maybe to others you regretted the choices you made, and there's a guilt there. Um and if you're a good mom and love your kids, you don't want anybody to think that. So you're gonna feel guilty and accept it. I'm a big believer, and uh I've done this my whole life, not just uh with this new chapter. I'm a big believer that if you can really understand what you might you're gonna face feelings, you're gonna face negative feelings, know what's coming and you are prepared for them, you can accept them better rather than just being blindsided um with emotions that come out of nowhere. And this is a it's a hard decision, you know, because hopefully maybe you have a support system, but if you don't, it's still fucking possible if you don't. Absolutely support system. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And and the other thing that I think I would like to mention on just on what you have just said, is that let's not forget that we're a mirror to our children, and that if we, especially our daughters, and if we are not showing that we care that that our we still have dreams and and goals and desires and and and we're taking care of ourselves and we put ourselves first as well, then they're they're gonna see that. And then they're gonna go, oh yeah, yeah, just because I turned 50 and my kids are growing up or 60 doesn't mean that I can't still have a life. I can't still, you know, restart those dreams that maybe I left behind because I wanted to raise my family. You know, we they're gonna learn from what we're doing. And I think that it's just so important that that we are uh we're good, we're good for them to see a good, a good uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

In my personal scenario, that that one's a little tough because I think I taught my daughters things I probably shouldn't have taught them. Um and so I'm kind of undoing that, and that's a little tough. Now I taught them great things, I taught them you know, amazing resilience and work and loyalty and a lot of good things. Um but for yourself, I didn't teach them very well for you, and now it's a little difficult to undo that. And I hope eventually they see that and understand that, you know, as they they're both I have another granddaughter, I have a another grandchild, a little girl this time, due in April. So I'll have two grandchildren. Um, but you know, we're all in different phases, of course. The daughters and others, like they need to enjoy their motherhood for years to come and embrace that because like my grandson is now almost eight months old, and of course, watching my daughter is just blissful in how much she loves him. And and she will say to me, like, boy, you said this was amazing. I had no idea. Like, it's even more amazing than you described, and I described it pretty freaking amazing. Um, she needs to enjoy that.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, there's periods and phases that but that's positivity uh that you've passed on as well. Your joy of motherhood, you have passed on to your girls. As I'm sitting here, I didn't have that happy mother. And so, even for me with my kids, I see the distance, I see the blocks, I see all those things that I had growing up. So good for you. You've passed so so you know, we may not pass on everything, but what a wonderful thing that you've passed on. You're gonna have your your your daughters are gonna be fantastic mothers because of you.

SPEAKER_01:

They are they are they are on the I mean, she's amazing. She's absolutely amazing. Everyone will be absolutely amazing. Um, and yeah, that'll be just amazing to watch. But I didn't have a mother.

SPEAKER_00:

So yes, yes, yes. Well, that's that is good. So let me ask you how your uh how has your voice creatively and personally changed since stepping into this new chapter?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh gosh, it was so hard. Um I I've I've just gotten more and more feeling myself again, almost like my way younger 15, 16, 18 self. And I was already married at 16. So um it was it was very hard when I was told you've got to do this, you've got to start at least marketing through TikTok. Um and putting myself out there was very difficult. And it's still some videos are very difficult. I'll spend an hour just like, am I posting this or not? Am I am I not? Um but my little corner of TikTok and now Instagram and you know other social apps are great corners. I know there's ugly, evil, nasty corners out there. Um, mine is great. People are encouraging and nice and wonderful, and you know, you get your bubble of kind of circle, and everybody's struggling and dealing with something or trying to uplift. So I I I now really enjoy it. Um and I can feel every day I'm becoming more of someone I remember.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, love that. Love that.

SPEAKER_01:

Not actually with that because I was always I was always a little bit the life of the party. Yeah. Uh you know, but I was I was married and raising kids, so it was hard to really jump into that. You know, I I might have overdrank twice a year. Yeah. Not drinking has anything to do with it, people. It's just an example of letting loose and really enjoying an experiment or experience at the moment. Yes, so it's I'm feeling like me. Yes. I'm feeling like me. That's perfect. No, it's so weird because you don't know me, but if you knew me, like yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But that's what we all strive for, to feel like ourselves. Well, we and we love ourselves. And love our and love ourselves.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, in the book, it's it's I talk about that from the main characters. Like, I wear 72 masks with different clients. You know, when to be the quiet realtor, the nice, the funny, the outgoing, the listener. And you we do that in life. You know, we're a customer, we're co-worker, we're a wife, we're this, we're in front of teachers, we're different. Um, the masks get heavy and they're necessary. You can't go around screaming at you know, to teacher, to the cashier. Like you have to wear a mask. Yes, of course. Um you can reach a point where it's comes off, and I maybe it's just because I'm I'm happy that I don't have to like you know, squish down different hats that aren't you know, don't fit moments because the hat I'm wearing currently fits a lot of fucking moments, and that's pretty good.

SPEAKER_00:

Beautiful. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so our time is starting to get short, Janie. But I want to talk about your book. So do you have a book near you that you can hold up? Just so we and and I'm gonna let everybody know that we are gonna have uh oh, love that cover. We're gonna have uh all of Janie's information in the show notes. So you'll be able to find her books, find her. Um uh yeah, so that you can reach out to her, you can grab her book, leave her a nice review. Come on, people. So, yeah, so let's see that again. Can you hold it up? Sort of, oh, beautiful cover. That's a beautiful cover. Now, did you have someone help you with that or did you do that on your own?

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. No. Um, you know, I started everything came from me from Canva, like yes, ideas, and then I did hire professionals to you know take it to the finish line and you got options and stuff.

SPEAKER_00:

And it's a big book. I think I I think when I was doing some research, I think it's like 400 pages. Yes, and that is a problem.

SPEAKER_01:

I did not know that it should have it should not have gone over. 300 pages. Yeah. Yeah. Twice as many readers. A lot of people will see 400. It's 399. And they will not select it. They'll select the 302 book.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's a well, you've got a trilogy in there. Maybe you can it really, I mean, it's uh it just kept going.

SPEAKER_01:

And I remember condensing it. It was at like 490 at one point, and I condensed it down. Wow. Yeah. You know, it's it's got a lot of mean in it.

SPEAKER_00:

So yeah, oh, for sure. Absolutely. Well, yeah, absolutely. But just because it's got a lot of pages doesn't mean that it's that it's it's gonna take a long time to read or anything. You know, it's it's about getting absorbed in the story, and um, yeah, I just love it. I love it. Okay, well, thank you for that. So everybody, just know that in the show notes, there's gonna be links. So you can get that book, you can reach out to Janie. Uh, whatever it is that you need to do, you're able to do. So let me ask you one last question. So, looking ahead, what kind of legacy are you intentionally creating uh now that you're finally living for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Oof. Gosh, that's a good one. Um it's funny that you say legacy because it makes me think of my favorite, some of my favorite song lyrics that my youngest about a year ago had tattooed on her um shoulder in my handwriting. She tricked me and had me write out the lyrics and said, That is so beautiful. Added it on the back of her shoulder. And they're lyrics from the indigo girls. And regardless of what success I may or may not have, again, outside of how I feel about myself, um it still is always probably gonna come down to these lyrics for me. And that is um, if we ever leave a legacy, it's that we loved each other well. And so this next chapter, as long as there's a lot of love, um I'm good. I'm good to go. Do I want to break the records? Absolutely. Yes, of course. And a meaning and a purpose to inspire others that they can do it. Yeah, you can do it. Like you can do it. You can do it. I can't say that enough. Yeah, you can do it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. Beautiful. What a wonderful way to end this. Janie, thank you so much. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being so open and honest and sharing um uh yourself with us. And uh, as I said, everyone in the show notes, you'll have uh the information there to be able to reach out to Janie uh and to purchase her book. So I hope that you will do that. Oh, beautiful. Love this conversation. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, yes, anytime. Absolutely anytime at all. And to you guys who are all watching and listening, thank you for being here. I appreciate it so much. And until next time, take care, everybody. We'll see you soon. Bye bye.