Women Like Me Stories & Business

Lisa Ellis - What Stories Do For Us When Medicine Cannot

• Julie Fairhurst • Episode 161

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Grief doesn’t follow a script, but stories can help us find the next line. I sit down with writer Lisa Ellis to trace how caregiving for her aunt with MS and then supporting her mother through stage 4 lung cancer led her to write books that guide families through loss. Lisa shares the moment a loyal golden lab confronted an intruder and became an unexpected lifeline, the practical realities of home care and safety, and the quiet ways independence disappears long before goodbye. Her account is tender, frank, and full of small strategies that make hard days survivable.

We move from the first poems she wrote in early 2022 to the three‑page letter she penned the day her mother learned the prognosis. Lisa opens the door on what cancer really demands: oxygen lines and walker routes, the shift from daughter to caregiver, the late‑night collapse that signals the end is near. She explains how writing helped her name feelings, avoid storing pain in her body, and turn raw experience into resources. 

Lisa’s mother had one final wish: to tell people everything they need to know. That promise powers this conversation. We talk about recognizing denial, granting permission to let go, and creating small rituals of hope, painted rocks, kind notes, and honest conversations. If you’re walking through MS, lung cancer, or any end‑of‑life journey, you’ll find practical guidance, emotional clarity, and a reminder that courage often looks like a letter written on a kitchen table.

If this resonated, subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review with one thing you learned or plan to try. Your words help another listener feel less alone.

Please support Lisa by purchasing a book. You can find her on Amazon:

I Wish I Could Hold Your Hand and Help You Stand

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Who is Julie Fairhurst?
Julie Fairhurst – Speaker, Author, and Founder of Women Like Me

Julie Fairhurst is a champion for women’s empowerment and the founder of the Women Like Me Book Program. Since 2019, she has published 30 books and 300+ true-life stories—at no cost to the writers—giving women a platform to heal, inspire, and reclaim their power. Dedicated to breaking generational trauma one story at a time, Julie’s mission is to uplift women emotionally and financially, helping them create better lives for themselves and their families.


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SPEAKER_01:

Well, hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of Women Like Me Stories and Business. I'm your host, Julie Fairhurst. Now, today, I I've been trying to get this lady on our podcast for a while, and we've finally done it today. So I'm super excited. We're going to be chatting with Lisa Ellis. Now, Lisa lives in Woodstock, um, Ontario, kind of an exciting place. And um, and uh and she's a writer. Uh, she's an author. Uh, she's uh working on a children's book right now. Um, and she'll tell you a bit more about what she's up to. But she's also an author in the Women Like Me community. And she's been so um uh what's the word I'm looking for? Um uh participant. So she's been like really in there when a book comes, a book opportunity to write, she jumps in there and she's just been um really, really uh helping our books to get out there and being and being just um a wonderful asset to it because well you'll know when you hear her story. So Lisa, thank you for finally getting on the podcast. I love it. Thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, good morning, Julie. Thank you. Thank you for having me here. I'm really happy to finally really do this. Yeah, good for you, good for you.

SPEAKER_01:

So so Lisa, why don't you start a little bit because when uh there's a reason you started writing in the very beginning. Can you when did you write your first book? Do you remember the year?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, so I wrote my first book um about the beginning of 2022. Okay. Um, so I had an aunt who had MS, multiple sclerosis, and she passed on from multiple sclerosis like um years ago. But I've always I never thought of writing a book in the beginning, but then I kind of was like just kind of going through my grief thing like people do, and I started just um thinking of her a lot, um, like closer to that year, and then I thought, you know what, I started writing poems and um and then I decided hey, I can actually make a book of this, so I just hold that close to my heart. So um I was really close with my aunt. So I did a lot of like things with my aunt. I helped her with a lot of things. I went through her whole MS journey, so that just yes, something that was heartfelt to me, and I just want to share it with the world because to help other people who are going through tough times, who are struggling, and just that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I I've read your story, um, and uh yeah, it's very heartfelt. And I think that I think it's so important that you've told it because you know it's a it's a common disease that people do have, but you're helping to shed light not only on the disease, but also on what it's like to be a caretaker and what it's like to have a loved one go through it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, it's so true. And I find uh just not everybody that knows, like it's not you don't hear as much about MS. Sadly, you should hear more about it. So, yeah, that doesn't seem like there's a lot of people that are aware, or enough people maybe that are aware of it. And um, I mean to I wish I could hold your hand and help you stand because my aunt that captured my heart because my aunt went from like I seen her gradually go downhill, so she weren't like she would use a walk cane and then a walker, and then she couldn't get out of bed, and then there was a point where yeah, she couldn't get up, so I kind of I loved that. Like I wish if I could, I could just hold her hand helper get up, but I couldn't, so no, yeah, so that's you know, but it's just to help out other people as well, and yeah, to let them know what people go through with an invisible illness that you don't always see, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

There's one you wrote about your aunt's dog. Yes, I love that. I love well, I kind of love the story because of the dog. Um, it was a bit sad. But do you want to tell us a little bit about that story and her dog? I think the part where she was she was lying in, she was in the living room, I think, and she couldn't couldn't get up.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, she couldn't, yeah. So um, so what it was was she had um a golden lab, and so the dog was always with my aunt, and a lot of times she'd be home alone. She'd have home care workers come and go, but if nobody, a family couldn't be there during that time, um, she would be there, so they would leave her front and door unlocked so people could get in. So the one day she was in her living room, which normally she is, and she heard her door open and her front door, which no, we know nobody we never used her front door. So right away she knew that was kind of alarming. So she looked and um her door was open, and the man stood in front of the door, and she's like, Can I help you? And he's like, Yeah, I know you're here alone. And her dog went like right at her. She's like, Jesse, and the dog went right to the guy, and she's like, You need to leave right now, or I'm going to call the police. And he kind of, as soon as the dog went out, well, then of course, he kind of laughed after a couple times at the dog. But yeah, it was it was scary. So she called, and then from then on, they just kept the front door locked and just the back door open.

SPEAKER_01:

But yeah, yeah, it was kind of well, very, very scary. But I just love how the dog came to her rescue. I just love that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's true, yeah. The dog was like that, and and if the phone rang, she would say, Jesse, pass me on the phone, she would know to go and pick up the phone. It was a cordless phone, so she would go and pick up the phone with her mouth and carry it to my aunt.

SPEAKER_01:

And yeah, like yeah, so was this was this a so was the dog a service dog, or she just knew?

SPEAKER_00:

No, she yeah, she just knew and she's just changed her. She got her from a puppy, and yeah, so it was quite yeah, quite amazing how the dog, like Lord, I could have saved her life that day, actually. Absolutely, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

I just you know, uh scary, but but just what I loved about it is just that the dog was there to just rescue her, protect her, yes, protect her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so you also had to go through some trauma with your mom.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I did. So the year of 2022, um, it was March of 2022. My mom got a lump on her shoulder, so um, she thought she should get it checked. Well, she did, and come to find out she had cancer. So um, under further um testing, they found out it was lung cancer. So, yes, so I still remember the day that my mom called and she told me that oh, like her, she went to the doctor, and the next day the doctor called and said, Um, you need to come like right away. My mom was worried, but I said, just don't worry, just go hear what they have to say. So I remember I was at work and she called me, and um, she said, like my stepfather told me that my mom had some bad news that it was lung cancer. And so then um, when they did further testing, she had to go to London. And when they found out it was stage four lung cancer, so it was already terminal by the time they found out. So um, I remember the day my mom called, I was sitting at the kitchen table drinking my coffee, and she's like, Lisa, I just called. I wanted to let you know that there's nothing they can do for my cancer, and I said, What? No, no way, right? So she's like, Yeah, she said it's terminal, there is no cure. Um, so all I can do is just like I can take chemo and radiation to prolong my life, but there's nothing they can do. I have probably about six to nine months, is what they're guessing on. So right away I was like, Mom, I'm like so sorry to hear that you're sick. Um, and then when I got off the phone, I literally started crying. And because I'm a writer, I did the thing a lot of best. I took out my notebook and I wrote right away a three-page letter of everything I wanted to say to my mom. And um, so then I um it was just like I couldn't believe it, right? So that was that, but now I wrote a book of my mom. Like I wrote down when my mom um was sick with her cancer her whole journey. I just wrote down everything. So I actually wrote a book. I haven't um like published it or anything yet. It's still waiting, but um, and then I also just did a children's story book, wrote from my mom as well. Um, but it's due like um have like a it's in the perspective of my grandchildren, like how they would, because they were young when my mom passed away and they were close to my mom. So I did it, like kind of it starts in their perspective, and it's how to help other people cope with the death of a loved one. So I'm really excited about that one as well.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and and sometimes we forget that children grieve and and and they're not as I mean, they're aware of what's gone, but but they need to have it explained to them in their language. Yes. So I think that's great that you're writing that. Oh do you have the name of your mom of the book for your mom yet? Do you have that name yet? Or um I'm not exactly sure. Okay, yeah, I don't have the name yet, but yeah. Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. Um, I read because you wrote in I don't remember which one of the Women Like Me books, but you wrote, you put that, or maybe it was the magazine. I can't remember now, Lisa, but I know that I read the the letter you wrote to your mom. Yeah, I thought that was so important and and I and so so forefront with you because you know you just hear this this devastating news about your mom, and you know, you now you you you know that time is short, you have to deal with it, but you actually put everything you wanted to say to her on paper, and I just thought what a great thing to do because as you know, my mom died of lung cancer, so I understand, and as so as that process is going and you're being the caregiver and the daughter and the grandmother and the mother, and all of those things are happening, we forget. True, and especially when you're if you're being a caregiver. I know I my sister and I, thank goodness for my sister, we took turns caring for my mom, but it it it it kind of erases a little bit of the daughter-mother relationship because you step into that caregiver role, yes, it's true, it's true, and it's and it's sad because you see how like they lose their independence, and you know, like it gets to the point they can't even have like a shower themselves, they can't cook, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

My mom had to be on oxygen, which your mom might have had to too with lung cancer, and so she couldn't be around the stove. And my mom like loved cooking and stuff, so it was really hard to see them lose their independence, and yeah, and I'm writing these books because a lot of people don't realize, especially the one, um, not the children's book, but the other book. It's more teaching people like um the behind the scenes, the things that you don't see when you hear of lung cancer or cancer. Like when I heard of cancer, I would never guess cancer was so drastic. Like, you know, when you hear of it, you know you're scared, and you hear people having it a lot, but you don't know everything that goes on. And like, I mean, I was at my mom's the night before she died, and she's like, Lisa, grab me. And she just went to go down, and the next day she that was it, she died. So it was like it's just what do you mean when to go down?

SPEAKER_01:

Like she couldn't walk, like she was collapsed.

SPEAKER_00:

She couldn't walk, she went to walk to go to the bathroom, she had her walker, and all of a sudden she's like, Lisa, you need to grab me, like I'm gonna fall. And I'm like, What do you mean? She's like, I'm collapsing. She had no strength, and that was it. I had to catch her. We sat her down, and she just, yeah, the next day, she was the day that she passed. It was, you know, kind of yeah, it's really heartbreaking when you see these things.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. And when did you when did you decide to write? So, were you already writing your aunt's story before your mom got sick?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so glad you asked this question. Um, because so now I was writing my aunt's book before my mom got sick. So um my mom knew that. So just before she died, like the night before, she's like, Lisa, maybe you can write a book about cancer someday. And I said, Mom, you know something? Um, well, yeah, maybe I can. You know, I said, We'll see. So that's another reason why, because that was her dying wish. And she said, Tell people everything they need to know. So she wanted to make a Facebook post because she had a Facebook and she wanted to make a Facebook post, I know, about telling people to like take care of themselves and that sort of thing. She never had the chance. So I said, Mom, I'll take care of it. So yeah, and then eight months after my sister passed away too of cancer of the pancreas.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my goodness, you have just had a tough go of it, Lisa.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, it's so true. Yeah, wow, yeah. But like you said, like you have to try to stay strong for everybody else as well. Like, you know, because you're I was a mom and a grandma and everything, but with the children's book, yeah, like I was grieving at the same time. So I'm like, okay, how do I tell the like my little grandchildren about their great grandma who they were so close to? Right. So this book is a way to when you're grieving, you can't always think of the right words to say or or uh that. So I kind of want this as hope and inspiration for other people to be able to maybe, you know, um, know kind of the right words or how they can kind of cope with it.

SPEAKER_01:

I think that's I think that's so I I I love how you've you know taken your your pain and your tragedy tragedy and used it to you know educate people, to tell your mom's story, to write a children's book so people can help children through it. It's it's so sad when we have to go through these things, but I love just how so many people like you, like me, with my my niece who passed away, um, how we can take their their memories and and what they went through and and and uh do our best to make sure that other people you know we kind of soften it for them. We we we do what we can to help.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, true, yeah. And another thing I just started was inspirational rocks as well. I thought inspirational cards. Yeah, you know what, people just need encouragement and you know, and grief is in all different forms, right? So people sometimes grieve over different things, and not everybody always talks about what they're going through or the struggles that they're having. So I thought inspirational rocks and cards is kind of nice too, so that it gives them a little bit of inspiration or positive, you know, because my mom, like she had hope, right? Until the day she died, she had hope and she didn't give up on her hope.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's kind of you know what helped her, I think, to stay strong because she never wanted us to worry about her because she was so strong and yeah, yeah, oh well I think you're doing some amazing things for sure with with um with your with your sadness, absolutely. Yeah, can I ask you, um, you know, because of course I'm all about books and you're all about books as well. So, how has the writing process helped you or has it helped you?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, yes, I believe it has. I think writing is a coping mechanism um for grief, because I think like um even now I I write all the time, of course, but um I think it just it does help um because you kind of get your feelings out on paper. Um, and when my mom first died, I kind of was like, of course, I was really upset, but then I kind of as I went writing more, I feel like that kind of helped. Like people are amazed because they're like, How do you do it? And I was like, I don't know, because to lose my mom and my sister eight months after I didn't have to take no grief counseling, I didn't have to, and I was close, like it was me, my mom, and my sister growing up for the first like 10 years of my life, just the three of us, and um so we were like really, really close, like you know, because my sister had like a lot of health problems too, so I was always there with her, and yeah, so people are like amazed to know like how I could actually cope. But my mom raised me up to pray and stuff too, so you know, I believe that that's a big thing as well. But writing is definitely, I think, a good coping mechanism.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's um a lot of the writers that that uh write in the Women Like Me books say how therapeutic it was. Yeah, because I think we sometimes we well, not sometimes, I think a lot of times what we do with our grief and sadness and trauma is we hold that and we hold it into our bodies, which can make us sick, and cause us all sorts of depression and everything else. And and so there's many, many ways out there for people to get help and to heal. And and writing might not be for everyone, but for the people that I know, and and even like you've just just said, is that writing definitely can help us. Yes, for sure. Yes, yeah. Well, Lisa, you know, it's um I'm just so thankful that you've joined the community and I appreciate you so much in your participation and you your positivity and you jump in there when when there's an opportunity. And I really love it. And Lisa is also uh going to be writing uh a chapter of her life in one of our newest books, which is gonna be coming out in January 2026. So that'll be exciting as well. And I appreciate you doing that. I can't wait to wait to go through that process with you and and read it. So so is there any what kind of what kind of wisdom could you share with our audience before we go?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. So um I can just say that always be there for them, no matter what. And when people are going through like a terminal illness, you're never like it's so unpredictable. You're never guaranteed time, you never know what's gonna happen from one moment to the next. Um, sorry, when my mom um passed, even the day she was dying. I'm just gonna say this one thing, sorry. Um just as an example, just as an example. So the day that my mom died, we were all in the room. They called the paramedic and the nurse because my mom was getting really bad. She was agitated. Um, so when they did, the paramedic come now and he's like, Oh, so nice to see everyone here. Usually we don't have this many people here with the family at this time. And I'm thinking, yeah, yeah, like what? Because I had all these different feelings, you know, of grief, like anger, sadness, everything, because I'm upset or frustrated that all this is happening, right? So this is normal feelings. So I'm looking at him thinking, okay, what is he talking about? Like he's he's acting like my mom's gonna die or something, right? So this is I remember what I'm thinking, and I'm standing at my mom's bedside the whole time, and and then after that, the nurse is like, okay, well, you can give your mom and need all and this and I'm like, oh my god, well, then next I know, like my mom was gone. And I was like, wait a minute, the paramedic, my mom was actually dying, and I didn't realize that this is what was going to happen because I was in denial. So, what I want to say the most thing is um try to listen to what they say because even that night before my sister was texting, we were texting back and forth, and she's like, Mom, or at least I can't believe our mom is dying. And I was like, I know, but I didn't really know because I was in denial, so that's another form of grief. So when I look back, I think, oh man, I wish I could have maybe I was telling her I love her and telling her how strong she was, but I wish I could have given her the okay to go and say, like, it's okay, mom, you know, sorry, you can go on, but I didn't because at that point I didn't want her to die. So in my mind, I was thinking she wasn't so meanwhile, the paramedic knew what he was talking about, yeah. And I didn't want to accept that. So if I can say that and just to like be there for them and try to keep them strong, and I let my mom talk about her feelings, and yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So I went through something like that when my mom passed away with one of my with my baby brother, my youngest brother. And he yeah, he just wanted to know why we weren't doing this, why we weren't doing that, you know, and and uh and uh you know I just remember saying, I mean, she's she's gone, you know, we're just waiting for the final moments, but he couldn't ex, and that was and he was so angry and he couldn't accept it. And so I finally said to him, because he was getting really angry, I said to you, if you want to do something different, I will support you. You go out there, you talk to the doctor, you talk to the nurses, and if they want and and if you guys are in agreement, go for it. Like I'm not the I'm not the keeper of the of the rules around here, but uh, but he he didn't, and um but yeah, but just that that not wanting it to let go and being in denial of where we're at of the situation, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

It's yeah, it's true, and it's weird because deep down you know it's going to happen, but then it's like you don't, so it's it's even hard to explain, like it's a weird situation. But if anyone ever comes into that, or even if you know some with the terminal illness, just you know, think of all embrace all possibilities and just you know, like it's just yeah, it is yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I appreciate you doing this, Lisa. I know um uh I I'm gonna want I don't want to say I brought you dry uh kicking and screaming. You didn't really you came you came with a smile on your face, and I appreciate that. Yeah, and and and I knew that you had so much wisdom to share with the audience, and and um, and I appreciate you so much for doing that. You know, we all have family that's going to pass away or has, but and we all handle things differently. But I love how you've taken their memory and you're using it to educate people, to to um comfort them with your books, and and uh I really appreciate that. So we're gonna have all of Lisa's links to her book. Um uh in, I think she's just got one book now, but she's got a couple more coming, and we'll add those as she publishes them. Uh, so we're gonna have that in the uh details section of the of the show notes. So you'll be able to reach out to Lisa if you wanted to, or you'll be able to get her books. I know the one book she has right now is on Amazon, but we'll have she's gonna send me that link. We'll have that link in there. So, you know, I would love it if you would support Lisa with a book purchase and um and uh and then you know, just if if you don't personally need that book, maybe you know somebody that that could really use it and just pass that along uh to uh to help comfort someone. So thank you for doing this, Lisa. I appreciate it so much. And um you're very welcome. And uh everybody was it's it was great. And we will see everybody else in the next uh podcast. Take care, everybody.