Women Like Me Stories & Business

Annemarie Chereso - What Changes When You Ask “Where am I?”

• Julie Fairhurst • Episode 158

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What if your most uncomfortable arguments were actually invitations to breathe, to notice, and to choose love without losing your boundaries? That’s the lens Annemarie Chereso brings to a life chapter that could have broken anyone: divorcing while eight months pregnant, navigating a colicky newborn, and parenting through a nervous system on edge. The turning point comes in a small but seismic moment — a kitchen tantrum over a sliced apple — and a single question that shifts everything: “Where am I?”

We unpack how that question redirects attention from fixing others to witnessing our own state: one of contraction in fear or openness in trust. Anne‑Marie explains why awareness is the first move, breath is the fastest regulator, and language is the lever that either closes hearts or opens them. She challenges the quiet myths we live by, such as “there’s no point” and “just let it go,” and shows how those stories fuel resentment. Instead, we explore welcoming our messy parts, practicing early micro repairs, and speaking clear requests without weaponizing righteousness. From social‑media clashes to everyday partner friction, you’ll hear how to step out of reactivity, own your part, and create a connection that lasts.

Along the way, we dig into forgiveness as a gift to yourself, not a free pass for harm, and how “love includes everything” is more than a pretty quote; it’s a daily practice of integrating shame, blame, and fear with curiosity and care. If you’re ready to turn conflict into a teacher, reclaim your voice, and build relationships that can hold the truth, this conversation offers tools you can use today: breathe, ask “Where am I?,” regulate, and return to repair.

Annmarie has outstanding resources available on her website. Take her FREE QUIZ: What keeps you stuck in conflict?  Access her Free 10-Minute Masterclass! Or purchase her book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family - Real Solutions for Mindful Parents Navigating Today’s Biggest Challenges.

Quiz: https://annmariechereso.me/quiz-v1/

Website: https://annmariechereso.me/

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Who is Julie Fairhurst?
Julie Fairhurst – Speaker, Author, and Founder of Women Like Me

Julie Fairhurst is a champion for women’s empowerment and the founder of the Women Like Me Book Program. Since 2019, she has published 30 books and 300+ true-life stories—at no cost to the writers—giving women a platform to heal, inspire, and reclaim their power. Dedicated to breaking generational trauma one story at a time, Julie’s mission is to uplift women emotionally and financially, helping them create better lives for themselves and their families.


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SPEAKER_02:

Well, hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of Women Like Me Stories in Business. Today I have a very interesting lady. I've done all sorts of research and looked at her website, and she is going to have some good, good information to share with all of us. So I'm very, very excited to have her here. So today we're speaking with Anne-Marie Cerezzo. Did I get it? Yay. Okay. Okay. She's a speaker, a teacher, and a guide who helps people transform conflict into connection with one simple question. So that got my curiosity. Anne-Marie's journey began in one of life's toughest chapters, going through divorce while eight weeks pregnant with her third child. From the raw, life life-shifting experience, she discovered powerful lessons of resilience, presence, and the hidden opportunities inside conflict. So this is going to be such a good conversation. So welcome.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm I appreciate you being here so much. I love this word, hidden opportunities. And thank you for having me, Julie. I'm excited for our conversation. I can't wait to see where you take me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I'm going to take you to the first spot, which is your book, because we are Women Like Me Stories in Business, and we write books about our lives. And so I'll have many, many authors who are going to be listening to us as well. So let's talk about the perfectly imperfect family.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. That's a book that recently was published a few months ago in May of 2025. It was a book that I was lucky enough to be a part of, an anthology written by many authors, which was a new experience for me. And what a fun one. And we were a collection of people brought together by this organization called Happily Family, who does a lot of work in the world of mindfulness and family. And it was really beautiful to bring together like-minded thought leaders who are sharing their stories of how they're doing it, right? And there's a way in which we relate to authors and books and information out there, as if out there someone out there has the answer for us in here, and that there's one book that will figure it all out. And I don't know about you, Julie, but I I'm not in my my little bookroom right now, but I have a library of books where I keep going to look for the answers to solve the things.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And seeing this collaboration of all the ways that we can be, and all the tools and all the strategies was such a gift for me. So I was really delighted to be a part of this anthology and um and bringing it. So tell tell us a little bit about your chapter. What did you write about? So the chapter I shared was a strategy that answers this one simple question that I talk about. Um it really woke me up. You know, I share a story about when my youngest daughter, who I was pregnant with, um, you said in the intro eight weeks, but it was actually eight months. Oh, sorry. Okay, thank you. Yeah, just so people aren't confused. Yeah. Um and she, I was pregnant with her when I was going through my divorce. Um, it was a really rocky pregnancy. I did, in fact, find out when I was about six or eight weeks pregnant that the marriage wasn't going the direction that I thought it was going in. And so she was was sort of gestating in this really disrupted nervous system, which was my beingness. Right period of time. I was incredibly disrupted trying to navigate my two other kids and save my marriage and do all the things that we as women do, and try and pretend that everything was okay all in the meantime.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so um, she was born with um what a lot of um doctors call, oh gosh, what what do doctors call it when babies are irritable and crying and um colic? Pardon? Colic? Colic. Thank you. You're welcome. That's okay. Like we talked about it for years. They could they you know defined her as colicky, which is sort of this broad brush stroke, like which basically means your baby's crying all the time.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And it was hard, like it was hard to be a single parent with a 12-hour a day crying baby, me navigating this divorce, my two trying to be with my two older kids, and it created a lot of conflict. I was constantly trying to change her or make her stop or fix, you know, I was just constantly trying to control everything. And so when she was about seven years old, we we had so much conflict between the two of us. Um, whereas, you know, I was always trying to control her, and so was everyone else in the family system, because you know, it was uncomfortable to be with her emotions. And in this chapter of the book, I talk about the moment I sort of woke up, and she was in the kitchen having one of her big blasting temper tantrums, which felt really scary to me. You know, here I am a great big adult, and here's this little tiny seven-year-old, like pigtails and no teeth, you know, or three teeth, losing a lot of teeth. And somehow her energy was so big and so scary to me that I would lose myself in it. And I had been getting a lot of support over the years, you know, from my coaches and therapists and healers and teachers and all the things that we we do when we're going through these hard times. And I was introduced to this question, which um I'll give you, I'll give your your listeners the question, which was here we go, listen closely. Where am I? And um and so I started she knows she was having a tantrum. The apple wasn't cut the right way or whatever it was that was clean, disrupted her. And she was um, and I I I was noticing her tantrum over there, but really I brought the attention over back onto me. Like actually, it doesn't matter what she's doing. Can I come over here and pay attention to how I'm being with what she's doing? And what I noticed in that moment was when I kind of observed myself, right? So I stepped out of my own reactivity. I was having my reactivity, but I stepped out of it and was observing it. I was like, oh, I'm really afraid right now. And from this place of fear, I've got all sorts of strategies and behaviors and things that I do to try and manage my fear. And I believed that the way to manage my fear was to go over there and control her anger. Now raise your hand if you're listening in, if you think that's a good strategy, right? Like a lot of sense. Yeah, yeah, it makes sense, but we know we can't control others, we can only control ourselves.

SPEAKER_02:

No, no, absolutely, absolutely. And that is a really important aha moment for you because we there's so much frustration in our lives, and so much of it is because we're trying to control other people, and they're not acting or doing or feeling the way we want them to. And really, you're so right, it's all about us. Wow. Wow, that sounds like a that's your chapter. I can't wait to read the book. It sounds fabulous, sounds absolutely fabulous. So, with your one simple question, why do you think that question is so powerful?

SPEAKER_01:

Because it helps to shift and wake you up. And if, you know, we have been conditioned out of relating to our bodies as the tuning instruments that they actually are. And instead, we enmesh, so in that moment, for instance, I enmeshed with my control as if it was the way to be. You know, you're a parent, so there's the paradigm of parenting in there, there's parenting paradigm of conditioning, like she shouldn't be behaving this way. There's all the things in the stories, but if we get beyond the stories, and if I just get into sort of like my animal body, the body of my beingness, yeah, the only thing that's happening in any given moment is you're an experience of love or an experience of fear or trust. And so if I can wake myself up and recognize, am I in a moment of unconditional love and peace, safety, trust? That's those are all the things that are sort of in that category. Yeah. Or am I in a contracted state of fear and control? So when I can start to observe myself in those contracted fear-based states, yeah, I can get into my observer and I can start to apply strategies to feel more empowered around what's actually going on in me versus a meshing with what's going on and believing that that is the truth of who I am.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Does that make sense? It's a lot. No, it makes complete sense. Absolutely. It absolutely. So let me ask you then. So when someone's in the middle of a heated conflict, yeah, how can they shift things right away then? Yeah, well, that's a really good question.

SPEAKER_01:

And wouldn't it be great if there was just one answer and we all did the same thing and it worked? Yes. I wish it were true, but it's not, right? So for me, the power of asking this one question that I teach, and I have eight-week long courses, month-long groups, uh, you know, all kinds of coaching that support the tools underneath this question, right? So the question is the portal or it's the doorway, right? So that's the fundamental and first step. If we don't have awareness, we can't actually shift whatever it is we're experiencing. Yeah. Once we get that awareness, it's like shining a light on what it is inside you that's looking for healing, looking for support, looking for transformation, looking for, you know, relief, looking for whatever the next step is. And that, Julie, is is the beauty in the challenge because there's a million different paths to that answer, to that shift. But I start with this one question because if I didn't recognize in that moment that I was I was super triggered myself, yeah, you have to be able to take responsibility for your place in the consciousness, in the field, first, before anything can change. We're not doing that, then we're we're just gonna contribute to more and more of that conflict, which eventually, you know, turns into ongoing drama.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, yes, yeah. I as you were talking, I was thinking about an old neighbor that I had, and we had a f a community Facebook group, and this lady drove everybody in the whole community insane. And and I got into, and normally I don't, I'm back right off a conflict. There's no point, right? And but this one time she triggered me, and next thing I knew, I was in this verbal back and forth on you know social media in our little private group for everybody to see, which I got embarrassed about afterwards. But at the but then I realized as I was going through this, she has an insatiable need to be right for whatever's happened in her life, she cannot. And so I ended the conversation, a little snitty of me. I, you know, I was like triggered, and I said, Okay, you're right. Got it, you're right. Like, I'm not arguing, whatever. I don't even care. And she said, Thank you. Yeah, and I thought, I felt so bad about myself. I thought, well, I shouldn't have gotten into that conflict. It taught me a good lesson, but it also just made me realize, wow, like what's going on inside a person that they're gonna argue with you until you tell them, yes, okay, whatever, you're right. Whether you believe they're right or not.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's what's most interesting to me is how you didn't actually believe she was right. No, you said that from um this place of control, like like fine, whatever, I'm done with this. I'm done. And it for her, it was actually like, oh, good, you you finally see me. Yes, yes, that moment in you where you're like, Oh, that was your sort of light bulb moment, like, oh, she needs to be right. And this there's this part of her that really needs that, like what I saw in you, Julie, was this compassion for a moment of seeing her. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

After I calmed down.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, but also with like are are you open for a little feedback?

SPEAKER_01:

I am, absolutely. Yes, please. Uh, you know, I'm curious about your strategy because you said a few things that um that got my awareness. Like, I don't normally get into conflict, I just back off of conflict. There is no point, right? So there's a consciousness or a belief system in you that I I get curious about when I hear that. Yeah, um, because I'm all about embracing conflict from the right. Okay. Um, and then then you said you were embarrassed about your engagement with her, right? So this shame. And so as women, yeah, we've really been conditioned to not get into conflict. Yes, and then when we do to be ashamed of ourselves.

SPEAKER_02:

Look at you. Yes, yes, I did. I felt, I felt, but yeah, I felt ashamed. Absolutely, I did. Absolutely. That you behaved poorly. I felt like I behaved poorly because I shouldn't have engaged, yes, and all that judgment. Oh here you go, guys. Here's here's a learning for you. Well, that's we're not the only one. We all do this. No, no, for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

That's why I wanted to raise it because what when when we get triggered and we get reactive, which is very human, yes, yeah, it's human. That righteous one and that woman, which is super flippant annoying, and no one wants to do it. Yeah, we all have that righteous one in us, and it shows up in in her way, it shows up where she's like in your face, in your face, but right, you might be righteous believing there's no point, there's no point in in ah, got it. That might be a righteous one in you that is quieter, yeah. But even the righteousness around I should be embarrassed. What if that's so untrue? You know, what if what if we're just all being human and there's nothing to be ashamed of?

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. Shame is a useless, terrible emotion. So I appreciate you noticing that. Thank you. I uh yeah, I I felt badly for her, uh, and but I never looked at my part in it.

SPEAKER_01:

And this is what we do. We all do this, yeah, because there's always a villain in a story. Yes, the villain in your neighborhood, yeah. And it gets to be right smack in the center, and everyone gets to point at her and look at her. And when we do that, and you'll see this in your family system, you'll see this in your relationship, you'll see this in your work communities. Yeah, there's always that person that's the villain. And everyone comes around and talks about, you know, the like neighborhood villain, yeah, and whispers about what you're doing wrong over there. Yes. And I'm not saying that they're not, in fact, doing things that are not of service to the system, of course, of course. But it gives us a nice doorway out of looking at our own participation, our own collab, you know, collaboration with that. And so, you know, the way I in my world, everything is here for our own learning and growth. So, my daughter having the tantrum for seven, 10 years, you know, they kept going on and on. All of my attention on something's wrong over there in her was actually not a useful place for me to put my energy and attention. Yeah. Well, when it started to become useful, was I got to look over what is her tantrum triggering in me? Yeah. Yeah. That's when transformation starts to occur. Absolutely. Wow.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank you for that. Thank you so much for that. I'm gonna I got some writing to do as soon as we hang up here. Okay, so I think you we kind of almost answered this, but I have a few stars about some questions because I got a bunch of questions I wanted to ask you, but a few of them I really were important to me. And one of them, we may have just answered it. I don't know. You tell me. How can we use conflict as a mirror instead of something to avoid?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, this is so important. I don't know about you and everyone listening in, but think about it for a moment. What were you taught about conflict growing up? Like when you your first reaction to it in my family system is like, avoid it at all costs. Yes, don't go there. Sort of similar to what you said, like, there's no point. This is not worth it. Yes. And while you know, while I can see a world in where it's true, like there's no point, this is too small, let's not go there. We rob ourselves of our learning when we override or skip over our hurts. So while something little this just happened with my husband and I right before we hopped on, he he did X content doesn't matter. I had a reaction in my body and I didn't like it. And there was a part of me, like, I got this call in 20 minutes, and I've got a lot of things to do. This isn't such a big deal. I'm gonna let it go. Well, I've been down that road. Yes, and guess what happens when you let it go? Then the next thing happens on top of that little thing, right? And then you let that one go. And then the next thing happens on top of that, and you let that go, and then it keeps building. So now it's become a giant wound or scab. And then you're walking down the street and something happens, and you like lash out of all 20 things that you haven't yet addressed, right? How many times does that happen to everyone listening in?

SPEAKER_02:

Or yourself, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

Your partner lashes out at you, or your kids lash out of you, or someone says something to you, and you're like, What are you talking about? And it was like from two months ago. Oh, I hate that. This is what happens because yes, we don't let it go, it's not a big deal. It's let just let it go. There's no point. Yeah, and so for me, the point is I want to get clear over in here. I want to be fully expressed, I want to be seen, I want to be known by my partner, and I want an open line of available connection. And if I start closing down, yeah, that you know, um, what what would I call it, a portal or a pathway from my heart to his heart, then we're in trouble. Yes, if it keeps closing, then the love can't get through. Yeah, and so we want to watch out for that. So for me, I have learned, and I want to say learned because it's been a long process of embracing conflict, and I'm still not perfect at it, and I'm still not always 100% doing it, and I still go in really scared. Like, oh, I know this is gonna lead to a lot of discomfort, and there's gonna be resistance and defensiveness and back and forth, and I'm gonna have to hold my ground, and there's all these things I'm gonna have to do inside of this conflict so that I get seen, so that I get heard, so that I get, you know, repair if repair is needed. So I would say not engaging in conflict is a control plan to not being uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow. Don't you just turn that right around. Uh-oh. I can I've got all these things in my head, like, oh, I guess I should deal with all of these things instead of just say put them over here. Yeah. If I have a problem, I will be phoning. Yeah. So um, what does so I'm I'm still focusing in on the on the conflict, but let's talk about because this is my one of my things. So in my in my community that I do, we write, we write in our community books, collaborative books. And and so much of what I'm trying to help the women in our in our community with is past issues, past blame, past trauma, um, all of those kinds of things. So, how do how could you help, how do you help people move past blame and more into connection? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

This is this feels like a really big question to me because blame and trauma are so deep in our tissues and cells, and yeah, you know, in our um ancestry. And there's it's it goes really, really deep, particularly as women, right? There's a lot of blame hoisted over on women. Um, and we take it just like you said, that shame and that embarrassment is rooted in blame because there's a way in which we blame ourselves for just about anything that's happening. Like we do. We do, we do, yeah. It was your fault that this are if you just didn't engage, then that argument on that Facebook group wouldn't have happened and all the things. So um, you know, I'm I'm gonna sound a little bit like a broken record, Julie, but always the portal to repair and navigate these past issues and traumas is self-awareness. Is that where am I? Am I in a place of fear and or am I in a place of real deep reverence and trust and um unconditional love? And uh it's a really difficult question because we're a little deluded around what love is. We don't really understand what love is. Love includes I I love shame, I love embarrassment, I love blame, I I love trauma. Like love includes it all, but we we live in a paradigm where love is looks one way and it doesn't include certain things.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And so first we need to really look at what have we X'd out regarding our past issues and our past traumas, and am I willing to welcome those back into my heart from a deeply curious place? So it's a sh it's a long answer. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, for sure. I find that um, yeah, it's um when we don't deal with things, it can certainly come out in some pretty nasty ways in our lives and generational trauma or you know, whatever's been happening with us. And so I I love the self-awareness part of it because we have to be self-aware. We have to be aware of how we're feeling, um, how certain things make us feel, but we but we still have to somehow get over that blame. We have to be able or let something go.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh yeah, the the yeah, the essence, uh I agree with the essence of what you're saying, and I get um particular about the language. So if you hear what you said, we have to get over it and let it go, right? Yes. So if I were to say to you, you have to get over it and let it go, just check in how does that land for you? Does that feel friendly? Does that feel sort of punitive and push-up that actually feels kind of bossy?

SPEAKER_00:

Right, I love that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so when you feel bossed and told what to do, do you feel soft and open, or do you feel more defended and a little guarded? Defended and guarded, right? Yeah, and so from a defended guarded place, we are less likely to be open and available and curious and transform. So I like to say, um, we we're here to transform to um to writing it down. Yeah, you're gonna write that down. I'm writing it down. Yeah, we're actually so all these parts are coming up for healing, right? And when we embrace them and we love them, literally love them, it feels different. Like I don't know about in your body, but over here, when I think about embracing my shame, I feel softer. Yes, I feel more available to it. Yes, yeah, and I don't feel like I better do it or if or else. Yeah, like my Catholic school upbringing. Like you better, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

There's that finger going on, yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_01:

So from I'm sorry, no, no, you go ahead, don't from that place, we become much more likely to welcome our learnings. Um, and and from a defended place, we're just we're closed off, we're scared, you know, we're scared. So anytime we're coming to have to place, we're scared, we got to do it right, we don't want to get it wrong. You know, there's all this attraction occurring. But when it becomes like you get to learn, like a a a two-year-old or a three-year-old going to preschool for the first day, and they're like, Look at this, there's blocks and there's balls. What can you do here? Right? Yeah, that great sense of curiosity and play and wonder when we bring that quality to our healing, yeah, we're much more likely to transform them and integrate them into our wholeness rather than stay in that ext out place that stays outside of our essence.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow. I have had an aha moment. I appreciate that. I hope everybody out there is having aha moments like I am, because this is fabulous. No, really, because it it's it's um what I got from what you were saying, it's like, you know, all those things are part of us, the all the good things, all the bad things, all the whatever. That's all part of us and learning to embrace those things instead of trying to necessarily get away from them, maybe.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. Well, yeah, we're all trying to get away. Let's just let's make that clear. We're all driving. We are all trying to get away. Yeah, yeah. And and that's a part that we also need to accept and embrace. The part of us that wants to get away from it. Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And for me, it's been my first sort of entryway to transformation is like, can I accept the part of me who actually doesn't want to deal with all this gunk?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

All the past issues and the traumas and the conditioning. Like, I know that's so much work. I just have fun and enjoy my life.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes. Yes, yes. What do you think? Um, what about forgiveness? What role does forgiveness play in transforming relationships?

SPEAKER_01:

That's a big one, right? Yeah. Um, well, we all know, I'm sure many of us have heard that forgiveness is not for the other, but it's for ourselves. Yes. Um, I have found that to be true for me. And again, forgiveness is in that same category as that defensiveness. It's forgiven, forgiveness can not forgiving is a contracted state. So it's a way that our ego holds on to control um from fear. And if I forgive, then I'm letting that person get away with something. Right. So I struggle with this myself often because it's I think it's hard. I for I find forgiveness really, really challenging. And it keeps coming back to me working with the part of me that is really attached to holding on to uh like your old neighbor. Um I have that state farm commercial now running in my head, like your old neighbor. Yeah. Forgiveness is here. Um, but it's it's like if I let go, then it might happen again, or I won't get what I want, or you know, so there's all these things that our egos can get attached to and believe if I forgive, I'm not gonna get what I need or want. And when I'm able to do it well, and really bring forgiveness into my relationships, um I can see more clearly. And really, it opens my heart. And often, not always, so it's important to be discerning also, not to just willy-nilly be opening your heart left and right. Yeah. Um, but I have found that when I offer that part of myself to others, they are so much more likely to bring that same open-heartedness to the relationship. When I bring my defended righteous one, guess what your old neighbor's creating? A lot of other defended righteousness coming back, right? So there's there's all these uh ways that we become mirrors for each other. And forgiveness is a really big one. And when I can learn to forgive, I know that it's a gift for me so that I don't feel so contracted around my own heart.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Wow, that was uh that was a beautiful explanation. Thank you. I appreciate that. So what do I want to ask? Oh, so you describe life as uh rich with spiritual lessons. So can you share a recent lesson that you've learned in your own life? Maybe it was just 20 minutes ago.

SPEAKER_00:

I was gonna say, well, you're coming at me left and right, Julie. I don't know about you.

SPEAKER_01:

One of the things that I find funny when you get on your spiritual journey and you start awakening, and I know these all sound like woo-hoos, you know, big words, but really you're just waking up, you're just seeing more clearly in every moment, is um life is rich with spiritual lessons. So, yeah, this last experience 20 minutes ago with my husband was a good one. Um, once again, it gave me an opportunity to be feel more empowered. I talk a lot about this work and this question that I offer and I teach um as an opportunity to feel more empowered, right? Right. And we come into this world fully empowered and then we forget along the way because we develop these egoic patterns that disempower us and and it keep us, anyone who's listening. Uh my fingers are up with quotes, us safe and secure, right? Yes. Our ego has this big idea like, here's what safety looks like. And our true self, our essence, really knows that we're we are always safe. We are truly always safe. And um, we get in that that tug of war or that battle. So life is always showing me where I'm contracted and trying to control life and and and create safety rather than trust life is always holding me and guiding me, versus where um I'm just letting life, the lessons lead me. So, this past example with my husband, when I didn't like the thing that happened. In the past, I would do what we talked about, which is sort of let it go, Amory. It's not a big deal. Like this is not one to die on the sword with. Yes. But I know from experience that when I don't do that, I end up building resentments. And it's not actually, I think there are resentments towards him for what he did, but what there actually are resentments for me not speaking my truth. Yes. And so I let myself get small when I don't say, hey, honey, that didn't work for me. And here's here's why, and here's what I'd like you to do next time. And he may very well say, sorry, that doesn't work for me. And what it does is then it leads us to possibly even a better solution that I had in mind. Yes. If he stays in his power and I stay in my power and we're negotiating from that place. Yeah. But if I never speak up, A, I don't give him an opportunity to see me or connect with me. B, I squish my voice and I disempower myself. Yes. So for anyone listening in, I just want you to think about how many times do you smaller yourself by not speaking your truth? And what will happen is instead of just saying, hey, honey, I want you to look at this thing, it didn't work for me, you know, two hours later or 10 times later, then it comes out like stop doing that. You know, it's like exactly that's exactly it. So true, so true. Because that voice that wants to be heard is getting squashed and squashed and squashed, and then it sneaks out. Yeah. And it sneaks out in a messy way. Yeah. So it wants to be heard. And if it wants to be heard, we really are heard best when we're coming from a place of clarity and love.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so if we can practice doing that, then we become more and more empowered. Yes. And that's how I feel like these lessons are always coming at us in the littlest moments. Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_02:

This has been such a aha podcast, an aha conversation. And I hope that everybody out there that's listening or watching is also getting some of that for themselves as well. I I I just really appreciate you, Anne-Marie, doing this so much. Can you tell me? So if someone's listening and they're feeling stuck in a in conflict, whether they're at home or at work, what's the very first step they should be taking to shift themselves towards connection?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, no one's gonna like this answer. Okay, that's okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Give it to us.

unknown:

Breathe.

SPEAKER_01:

Breathe. Um, I know the the reason I say no one's gonna like this answer is because it's A, too easy, and B, you've heard it a million times, right? Yes, yes. But it's true. The breath is your portal to expansion and awareness. And so when you stop and you breathe, you shift your physical state, your physiological state, you shift your brain state, you create literally are creating more space in your mind, body, soul. So breath is the very first thing. And then ask yourself that question: where am I? Yeah, you're gonna find that you're in a contracted state of fear. And then you can, there's all sorts of tools to access after that. But that is your first place. And you know, often I think when you're just sort of starting out on this journey of awareness, removing yourself from the situation until your nervous system is more regulated is a really great first step.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, for sure. Absolutely. Well, a wealth of information, absolutely, and thank you so much for free freely sharing it. So for everyone that's listening, we are gonna have all the information that you need to reach out to Anne-Marie. So if you and and I noticed on there, so I had a look at her website. She has a quiz that you can take. She has a 10-minute um uh sort of a lead into a course, I guess, a mini course. Yeah, so mini masterclass. Thank you. So she's got that on there. She's got a blog. So there's a lot. If you're feeling aligned with her and you're feeling uh that you want to learn a little bit more, please reach out to her or at least go check out her website because there's lots of information there that's going to be able to help you. And just check out the show notes. We will have all of those details and all of those links there for you. So, Anne Marie, in closing, what is one message that you hope every listener takes away with you uh from your story or your work?

SPEAKER_01:

Hmm. That's a really beautiful question, Julie. Thank you for asking. Let's um that that love is a really powerful portal. Unconditional love is a really powerful, powerful portal. And and to remember that we that love includes everything.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, yes. I'm writing that down before I before I close off here because love, okay, because I heard you say that the first time and I that really clicked, and now you've said it again. I I I I think it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so and and I want to say, like, these platitudes make really nice Instagram posts and bumper stickers, yeah, but to actually implement them into your life, it's it's not as easy as like writing it up on an Instagram post. These are really, you know, big experiences that we're being challenged as a human race to remember, you know, this truth that we're here to remember. So I don't by any means want to like make pretend that love includes everything is yes, a no, no.

SPEAKER_02:

No, absolutely. I mean, it's it's such a big statement. And I mean, you know, if somebody just heard that, they'd be like, yo, okay, well, whatever. But until you actually embody understand what it what what that statement means is when it really does uh it wakes you up a little bit.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And I want to say there's lots of ways I exclude loving things. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, exactly. Well, Anne Marie, thank you so much for being here and enlightening and sharing your wisdom with all of us. I I my my biggest hope for everyone is that uh with all of our guests is that there's they they listen and they and they they have their own uh aha moments and they find some lessons and and ways to make their lives better. And um, and so please, I hope that all of you um that have heard this uh do reach out to her website because she's got some good stuff on there, everybody. So it'll be the links will be there. So thanks again. I appreciate that. And everybody, thank you for being here, and we will see you next time.

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