Women Like Me Stories & Business

Finding Strength in Adversity with Deanna Alvarez

• Julie Fairhurst • Episode 81

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What happens when life throws you a curveball, and you're forced to adapt unexpectedly? Deanna Alvarez knows this all too well, and she takes us on her poignant journey from the bustling streets of San Francisco to the vibrant yet unfamiliar landscape of Las Vegas. 

The high cost of living acts as a catalyst, and Deanna opens up about the challenges and triumphs of her new life post-divorce, balancing her advocacy work with the bittersweet longing for her family back in the Bay Area. 

Her story is not just about geographical relocation but also a testament to her resilience in navigating life with cerebral palsy, and she expresses gratitude for the abilities she has nurtured despite the hurdles.

But Deanna's journey doesn't just stop at physical challenges; she invites us into the deeper layers of her life story. Growing up in a turbulent family environment, Deanna faced emotional battles, including a stay in an adolescent psychiatric unit shaped by her relationship with her mother. Yet, amidst adversity, moments of warmth surfaced, thanks to her aunt's family's profound love and acceptance.

Listen as Deanna recounts a pivotal hospitalization experience that demanded resilience, enforcing a transition from resistance to compliance. Her narrative is a powerful reminder of how life's trials can foster remarkable personal growth and strength.

Here are two ways to reach out to Deanna…

 Heartfelt Healings with Deanna Alvarez
 deannasessential@gmail.com

Independent Wellness Advocate
Website:My.Doterra.com/Deannaalvarez

 

 

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Who is Julie Fairhurst?
Julie Fairhurst is an accomplished author, writing coach, and the visionary founder of the Women Like Me Book Program.

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Speaker 1:

Well, hi everyone, and welcome to Women Like Me, stories and Business. I am your host, julie Fairhurst, and today I'm so excited I am with Deanna Alvarez, and she is a recent writer in one of our books. This book is going to be coming out this coming Friday, november 29th 2024. So if you're watching this podcast or video after that, then you know the book's already out and if you want to go buy it, you can, because it'll be on Amazon. So our book is called when Life Breaks you Open Moments that Change Everything, and I just believe that it is the moments little things here and there, moments that do change everything. So, deanna, welcome, welcome, my dear. Thank you for being here, and why don't we start by having you tell the listeners or our viewers just a little bit about yourself?

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you, julie, I am actually so happy to be here, I got a calling saying that I should be writing in this book, and so it really touched my heart, because I've been invited other times and this was the moment. So it is just mine, it's, I don't know, something's over me, and I just feel so calm and relaxed. I am actually from San Francisco, california, moved out to Las Vegas, nevada, in January of 2017. So it will be eight years now that I have lived out here in Las Vegas. Currently, I am a stay at home and I work part time, so I just got back into working again. So it has been a whirlwind. My body is trying to get used to everything, but it's a blessing. At the same time, I love to advocate for individuals, as you know, and so that is my passion, and but it's hard being out here from time to time, because I do miss my father and my cousins, because I am the only one here in Las Vegas.

Speaker 1:

And where are they located?

Speaker 2:

They're all in San Francisco Bay Area. They're all in the San Francisco area.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I'm the only actually my cousin's daughter, though they live in Oregon.

Speaker 1:

Well, what made you move to Las Vegas?

Speaker 2:

After my divorce, my girlfriend and I moved in together to share the expenses out of California. As you all know, the rents are extremely high and she decided her children were starting to get married, have babies, and so she wanted to move closer to them. So once I knew she was moving I was like, okay, time to relocate. And so one of my cousins suggested Vegas, because it was closer to the Bay Area for everybody and so the prices were really reasonable out here. And so I thought, okay, and I've had two really good friends that had already settled here in Las Vegas, so it was comforting to know that I knew people here in the Vegas area.

Speaker 1:

Perfect, oh, good for you. Well, of course I'm Canadian, so when I go to Vegas it's party time gamble. And then I think about all you people that live there and I think you can't possibly go to casinos every single day, see, those every single day.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, it's funny. In the beginning my girlfriend said you know, once you get situated you'll get tired of the strip. Yeah, and it was true. In the beginning it was so much fun just to go down there and experience everything, but then after a certain point in time it's like okay, I've had enough. That's okay. Yeah, you know, when my family comes out here, of course we go down to the strip and we take them to Fremont Street to the arts and crafts. You know the arts, but mostly I just stay up where I reside.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, for sure, yes, probably the safest place for your wallet.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but then there's a casino. I have three casinos in a two block radius Holy.

Speaker 1:

But then there's a casino. I have three casinos in a two block radius, holy cow. Well, you got to have some good tunnel vision around to save yourself in Vegas. Yeah, aw. Well, deanna, I am so excited to talk to you about your story. So we didn't mention yet that you grew up with a disability. Do you want to explain that a little bit about what disability you have and or have?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So I have to say in whole honesty and I wake up every morning, julie, and bless myself, because cerebral palsy is not diagnosed right away, but it happens during the birth canal and so it wasn't diagnosed immediately that I had cerebral palsy. And with cerebral palsy you could be wheelchair bound for life. You could be put into a home where people have to care for you, because it's just not, it's just hard on their parents and they can't do that. Yeah, but yet I function pretty well. I mean, it's affected my, I have cognitive issues from time to time. It affects my entire left side of my body.

Speaker 2:

So I didn't walk until I was four. I had speech therapy as I went to my disability school and taught me how to speak. I didn't ride a bike until I was in second grade, and I think that was the first and last time I ever rode a bike, to be honest, until I was married with my husband. But um, and then you know, so there was. And then I had physical therapy throughout my my time. But again, I am extremely blessed because there's different um category. I don't know if it's the right word to use, but um, it's just from extreme to to non-extreme.

Speaker 1:

So it just depends. Thank you, yes, yes, yeah Well, can you tell us what was it? You know, what was your view of the world growing up like that, did you? Did you feel that you were a little bit different from a lot of the other folks, or was it a lot harder for you to cope? I mean, I understand that you didn't walk until you were four. That's quite late for children, but how was it, as a little child growing up and having cerebral palsy?

Speaker 2:

Well, I think it depends on the person. For myself, the little girl inside me had challenges. It was hard because I was the middle child of three girls and so, being the middle child of three girls, the other two were what they say normal children and could do things, and so it was hard for me to maneuver and to get around. I was always, in the beginning, I was in the wheelchair. That I remember. I would come home from school and my mom would put me out, you know, outside of the wheelchair, and then my sisters, I remember, would like to play in the wheelchair, so they would kind of like ride around and I would just watch them. Because once I was outside of the wheelchair, everything stopped. I couldn't push myself. I always had to have someone push me.

Speaker 2:

And this and we're talking the years you know, between I was born in 1960. So from 1960 to where we are today, disabilities have changed dramatically as far as where to go for assistance, yes, yes, yes, it just didn't happen. It didn't have that back when I was first born and into the early 70s it wasn't available. So once my school stopped, with my disability, with my physical therapy and everything, everything stopped.

Speaker 1:

Ah Well, what was it like in school for you? So did you go to a regular, just a regular, like, for example, elementary school, or were you in a special class? Or what kind of education were you getting? Because back in the sixties, I get it, there were we're like way above that now but there was a lot of challenges for people with disabilities, lots of challenges.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so for myself. I was in a disability school up until second grade and they went to my parents and said you know, we can only do so much for Deanna because of her, because I wasn't severe enough, if that's the right word to use. They were saying they can only do so much for me and it was time that I went into a normal school and so there was no transition back in the day. So I finished my second grade I think it was in my handicapped school, and then come September, there I was in my regular school.

Speaker 2:

So there was no transitioning and it was extremely difficult for me because nobody was like me in my I was bullied every day from this one child and just made fun of and chased, and it was extremely difficult. The teachers were compassionate and understanding and very loving in some sense, and so when I was there and felt like something was going on, I could go to one teacher and they would help me, you know. But it was after school where I found it was more challenging because I didn't look like anybody. It was more challenging because I didn't look like anybody. At that point in time I had some time, not sure when the brace came off, but I wore a brace and when I walked I didn't walk like regular people. I really couldn't do PE, although they wanted me to do PE.

Speaker 2:

It was very difficult to do PE. I couldn't hang on the monkey bars, I couldn't do certain things that they were wanting me to do, and so it was hard, it was difficult, and so I think my parents, because of the time they didn't really so they kind of treated me as though I didn't have a disability. And I look back at that now how it really affected me down the line, because as I've gotten older I'm now in my 60s I used to fall a lot. Well, the falls are coming back. I've taken four major falls from 22 to 23. And the last fall I fractured my dominant hand. So it's, it's kind of like the circle of life how things come back.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you know, and my father just reminds me slow down, you don't need to be. And you, where are you going? What are you doing? You know, let them wait for you you know, really good advice. So, and he's always told me that he was my cheerleader. He and my and my dad's family were my cheerleaders, were my support team yeah, well, you know.

Speaker 1:

My next question for you is you know how did the relationship between your father and your mother differ? Because I know from your story that there was definitely a closer connection to your father and your mother. I think was in. Your relationship was a bit distant.

Speaker 2:

Right, I think my mom as a whole didn't know how to handle a child with a disability. I found it difficult, and I think, found it even more difficult once my parents divorced, because when my father was in the house he was supportive of me and he always said let her try, if she falls, okay, she'll get back up again, you know. So the support team and the communication broke, you know. And so I think my mom always, from what I remember, had a hard time with my disability and part of that probably was guilt.

Speaker 1:

Yes, probably.

Speaker 2:

You know, and as a child growing up, you don't realize a lot of things, you're just angry. Yes, you know, and I was very, I was very expressive.

Speaker 1:

Well, that brings me to my next question. Yeah, in your story you talk about spending some time in an adolescent psychiatric unit. Yes, what? What do you want to explain that? What was going?

Speaker 2:

on. So that was in my teenage years and I was bounced around.

Speaker 2:

So my mom and I, as I stated in the beginning we just conflicted and she had a difficult time and so it was easier for her to give me to somebody else, I think because of the dynamics and the stress in the household. So for her at that point in time, because I was very how do you say it verbally aggressive, abusive, but I always learned that from her because when she and my father were married she was verbally abusive to my father and she would throw things and yell and I remember at one point throwing things out of the window. So I remember picking up that behavior. But the difference was I got in trouble for it, right. And so I think when my father left, that was the only way that I could vent, because I didn't know how to vent otherwise, and so I became a problem child to her.

Speaker 2:

And so I remember her asking my sister and me you know, why don't you go take Deanna out and look for a coat for her for Christmas? And so my sister and I went into the car, because my sister had her license then and we came back. And as we came back it just seemed really funny, weird, my dad's car was there and I wasn't sure why, and things of that nature, and they both agreed to take me to a hospital, um, because I had problems, and I think at that point in time it was like easier for my mom, you know, just to give me to somebody else to care for and so um, but your, but your.

Speaker 1:

Your issue was really just more anger. You were just an angry child, which I could understand.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was an angry child. My sisters did things that I couldn't do because my mom was afraid for me to do them. So I was always just neglected or watched. You know, had to sit there and watch people do things, while I just sat there, ignored, yeah. And so I became a very angry child and so at that point in time, I think, my mom decided that she wanted me to go in the hospital. Before I went into the hospital, I was bounced around, I lived with my beautiful aunt and her family, who I talk about in the story, and I felt like I was home. I only went for a weekend and ended up staying there for over a year, because the day that I thought my mom was picking me up, she actually came with all my suitcases and said here, gloria, yeah, I mean it sounds sad and cold, but on the other hand it sounds like just what you needed, because there was care and warmth and love.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and they accepted me as like if I was their own child. And so I know, in as I got older there was a lot of resentment from my mom when she would see things, my relationship with my aunt and her family. Especially when my uncle named me, he did nicknames for the children and his wife and so I would call him Boobie because that's what his nickname was, and I was Blah Blah because I talk a lot. That's so cute. So we were in a conversation together. My mom happened to be at this event with everybody. I would say that she goes, my mom would correct me and then they would say no, she, she has every right to call him that or every right to call.

Speaker 2:

You know, gloria, that because she's she's our, our family, she's part of our family, and so it made me a stronger person, I believe and I'm jumping the gun a little bit but I went to the hospital and I was in the hospital for a little over a month and I wasn't really, I didn't really belong there, because the hospital was more for runaways, for drug addicts, and so my doctor at the time would say Deanne, if you really want to get out of here, you need to go to counseling, you need to go to group counseling, you need to do everything they are asking you to do. And so I made sure I did that. So then when it was time for me to go home, I could go home.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yeah. Well, what do you think you you know what stands out most from your time that you spent there. I mean, I know it was only a month, but it's a pretty dramatic change from being in your family environment to all of a sudden being thrust. What do you think you know what stands out the most to you, or what realizations? Was there anything in there that sort of other than, of course, counseling and stuff? But you know what were the lessons that maybe you took away from that experience so it really made me grow and become stronger for myself yes and be.

Speaker 2:

Um, I grew up, I was 14 or I can't remember. The ages are just kind of all come together, but, um, I remember my father saying you're gonna, you know, you're just going to experience things that your sisters and siblings will never experience, and he was so right on. Because I had to grow up so fast from the hospital, I had to really make sure. It was scary, it was dark, the people were not my type of friends who I would meet on a daily basis, so I just made sure that I listened to what my doctors told me and to do everything that they are asking me to do. So I went from not arguing to really trying to be a good girl.

Speaker 2:

You know not because that's the only way I was going to get out of that hospital. I was in hospitals before. I've had major. I've had major surgeries because of my disability. I had I couldn't walk. My my, my foot was like this, so they had to remove a bone and make it straight, you know. So I've had multiple different surgeries and the hospital that I was in was not the hospital that I once knew. It was dark, it was cold, it was quiet. The elevator you know, once you get off the elevator you're not in Kansas anymore. You know it's so. No, it was so cold and so, and and I felt like people were in straight jackets sometimes, and you know it's it was just not a place for me.

Speaker 1:

I understand, I completely understand. You know, and and again, thinking back to the 60s, that's what they did, with a lot of people that had disabilities ended up in in hospitals and and uh, thank goodness we've grown since then oh my god, I I mean I know people now with disabilities or even cerebral palsy, and just the amount of information that is out there.

Speaker 2:

I even living here in Vegas when I fell. I had no family here, so it was like trying to learn to advocate for myself as a person who has cerebral palsy, trying to get help to come in to help me shower, to help me cook. I couldn't even cut an apple with my hand. You know there were so many things that was very difficult for me to do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, wow. So so you mentioned being an advocate for yourself, but you also, in your story, talked about being an advocate for your nephews, because you had a couple of nephews that came and lived with you and your husband and you had to you had to do a lot of fighting, right? You want to tell us a little bit about that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so Michael and Robert, they came and lived with us and his parents, don and Shirley, were caring for them. His sister, who had both of the children, was drug, alcohol, and so she just wasn't able to care for them like she should. And so his parents were caring for him, but they were in their late seventies. And so Tom came home one day and expressed to me that they're coming to live with me over the weekend or us, and I went wait, wait, what what? And he's like yeah, I told my mom that we would care for them. So they're going to come and live with us because Sharon can't take care of them and my mom and dad are getting old. And so they did. They came and lived with us and we cared for them and they, they were a certain age, but yet they weren't mentally and physically at that age yet. So we really had to make sure that they had certain things for them.

Speaker 2:

The one thing that was important was their schooling, that they were going to be going to a new school. Are they going to be able to transfer easily? And I kind of understood that, because how I went from one school over to another, so I went. At that time I was in early childhood development, I was a preschool teacher, and so I went and talked to the teachers ahead of time before Michael and Robert came in to live with us and explain, explained the scenario over to them so that they knew exactly what was coming into their home or into their school, into their classroom, and I was fortunate enough to have really good teachers and understanding teachers, so they were really appreciative that they had a background of understanding on how to help them move forward in their class.

Speaker 2:

And Robert didn't stay with us very long because the natural father came and took him away and so once it took enough Michael with us and they were together when this occurred. So Michael, just it broke my heart because he only took Robert, he only wanted Robert, and left Michael with us, and so that was just devastating and even put Michael back a little further and he started having accidents in school and things like that, and so it was just just really devastating and so it was important to me and my husband to make sure that he got what he needed.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, and I think that seems to be the theme of your awareness that you want the public to understand is making sure people get what they need.

Speaker 2:

Right, because there's so many things that I've learned in these past two years being out here in Las Vegas is that you really have to advocate. It's really hard to get assistance unless you know where to go.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and then even even when you figure that out, I would you know, going through the I have, we have a few nieces and nephews in my family that have some disabilities and sure you get diagnosed. But then where do you go? How do you get the help? Where do you get the treatment from? Where are the resources? It's a lot of work to try to try to navigate the system.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I was extremely. Again, I find myself extremely blessed because I have had so many different angels that God has sent me, that has cared for me and loved me and given me the strength that I need to get through whatever I was going through at that point in time. And when I say that, when I fell, I reached out to a really good friend. Her name I don't want to share, but she had a child and she's an old family friend. I've known her forever and when I lived with my father, her brother was like a brother to me, the brother that I never had, yeah, and so he and she knew that I needed assistance. She was her first child, is born with cerebral palsy, and she advocated for him so much and still advocates for him today, and she's very active with San Francisco Arc. And so she was able to say Deanna, you need to call this organization. Deanna, you need to call this organization, you need to reach out to this company and see if they can. I mean, if it wasn't for her being out here by myself, I would have been so lost. Yes, because I've called organizations.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I feel like I'm not disabled enough, you know, because I walk or because I'm not in a wheelchair or you know, my husband passed away and because of my disability and my falls, I've been on social security and they gave me my husband's social security. But because they see me as my a widow having my husband's social security, but because they see me as a widow having my husband's social security, I disqualified for a lot of programs and I go, I'm still disabled, and so I've had to really fight for certain agencies coming in to help me, certain agencies coming in to help me because, and then, and then they only, and then, with that being said, they only give me like two or three hours a week. That's not a day, wow. So you know, and so with that, it's like wait a minute, I need. You know I have a hard time showering. I, my dominant hand is broken, yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, I can't wash my hair, I can't cook anymore. Yes, and they're. You know so, and I don't mean to be inconsiderate to the state of Nevada.

Speaker 2:

No, no, of course, but the one thing that I learned and this was through Pat, and she was Deanna I really wish, I really wish you would have called me before you went to Vegas, because the health care system isn't the way it is in California. So everything I had in California, I automatically thought, followed me here to Vegas. And it doesn't happen. Their health care system needs a lot of work, oh dear. And so if anyone says to me oh, what do you think about me? Like, wait a minute, yeah, yeah, if you want a really good health care system from California and over here, I would think twice before.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, you talk about the importance of having systems for individuals and for individuals with disabilities. So, and you talk about planning. Planning, yeah, do you want to tell us about?

Speaker 2:

that. So, again, when I felt, when I broke my dominant hand, I have fallen, I don't know how many times in my life, I'm 64 today, and so this was the day. Oh, not today, it was last week sometime. No, but I actually turned 64 this month um, what, um? So, with that being said, I didn't realize that. I'm sorry. Can you ask that question again?

Speaker 1:

yeah so about the systems, because I know that in your story you talked a lot about making you feel that that that there was no planning for your, for the balance of your life, for your adulthood, and so you talked in your story about wanting to make sure that you could pass along the lesson for parents who might be dealing with any kind of disability.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so thank you for getting me back on track. But anyway, what what that means is that anybody who has a child with a disability, especially a child who is severely disabled and cannot care for themselves, they really need to have something planned out for them, need to have something planned out for them. So my girlfriend thought that I maybe would have had a trust put together for me so that if, in case that I needed guidance and assistance, I had the finances to get assistance coming in to help me. And at that point in time, it wasn't. It never happened Right.

Speaker 2:

And so what I learned through my, through my advocacy, is that whether you have a child in some type of disability, especially a severe disability, and you no longer could care for them and let's say what happens if one of the parents or parents pass away, what is going to happen to this child? They really need to put some type of trust together, make sure that they have the financial being so that they can care that either a family member or someone else can care for this individual for the remainder of their life. I know a lot of families want the child to stay with them in their home, and I have an example. I just started working at an assisted living community and people ask me you know about my disability, because they see my hand and they think I've had a stroke. But I tell them no, I have cerebral palsy, but I'm very blessed. And one individual shared a story that her brother had cerebral palsy but they ended up having to put him in a hospital because the younger sibling started acting like the child who had cerebral palsy.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I see.

Speaker 2:

And the parents had the most difficult. They were saying well, you could put him in a home to get the help he needs, you know, and then the younger child cannot mimic him. So it looks like you know, and it wasn't out of. How do I say this? It wasn't out of malice, she just wanted to copy her brother.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes that would be able to help him and it really broke my heart that you know. But again, let's say you don't put financial money aside for that or you don't think of doing that. You know where's this child going to go.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2:

You know?

Speaker 1:

yes, it's, I think, and it's a. It's a important lesson to bring up up, because I think we get so caught up in our daily busy lives. Work in for geez. Back in the 80s I did work in group homes with children that had severe disabilities and it's difficult, I think, as a parent, from what I viewed, to think you know, think you know, day by day is so stressful for them and then just to try to think of the future, like they're so focused on what's happening right now and that can be so overwhelming that to try to think, okay, well, what am I going to do in 30 or 40 years when I'm not capable of caring for my child or, heaven forbid, I'm not here? I think it can be a real. I can see how people don't have that forward thinking.

Speaker 2:

Right, and it's not that, you know. I know they don't want to think about it at the time either, so they, you know it's like me putting a will together, you know every year.

Speaker 2:

It's like putting okay, I'm going to do it next year. Okay, I'll do it next year. You know um my friends, my friends in California, they're so funny but I'm more um it's. They know. I mean, they know I'm here in Vegas because it's more for the survival financially. I can do it better here, so it's easier for me to do that. However, if I pass away, I have three good friends who I know know that Deanna cannot be buried here.

Speaker 1:

Deanna cannot be left here. No that Deanna cannot be buried here.

Speaker 2:

Deanna cannot be left here. She has to go back home. Yeah, but it's, you know, unless you don't get it on paper, it's not going to happen, and so you think of things like that. But it's like. It's like parents probably even think about their child, their children. You know, even even if you have a child who is perfectly healthy and an emergency happens, you need to make sure that the finances, that the um, that they know where to go.

Speaker 2:

My thing is, I just want the people to know where to go. I have learned so much because I am a senior now and I'm catching up to my father, and so it's funny like that. But anyway, it's, you know, you need to know as a senior, even living in another state or here in Las Vegas, what resources you have for guidance, for help. I mean, when COVID happened, I felt at a loss because I was, you know, everything happened and I was alone and where am I going to go for certain resources? So I probably found out more about the resources as I was researching my fall and trying to get people in here. What actually is available now for me that I can get people in to help me, and it's easier if they have it all kind of laid out for them, so that if in case something does happen yeah they.

Speaker 2:

They have the paperwork where to go yes what to do? Yes, you know, and it's all part of making things easier for them yes, the services are.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes all the services are not there, but there are some services. Uh, I know I'm in canada, but it's very similar in Canada too. If you have an issue, there are services out there. But how do you find those services? And then you know how do you deal with them. We have a family member that has a mental health issue and it is. So. The paperwork, just the paperwork alone to fill out, is so cumbersome and overwhelming that it doesn't get done because that person can't do them. But yet they're stuck in between because they get that you can't, that paperwork's overwhelming for them, but without the paperwork you're not getting any help Right, and that's happened to me.

Speaker 2:

I had a reference to an organization out here and they have them in California as well, and this one would be Desert Regional and what it does is it helps people with disabilities. And so the downfall to that is that you have to give them, you have to prove that you have a disability first, palsy, you know. I mean they could see if they saw, because everything's done through the phone right now or Zoom, but you know, no one's coming into the office, you know, depending upon the organization. So everything you have to make sure you have the correct documentation. And then you have to make sure that you get SSI and if you have SSI, they want to take the full check from you and then they, you know they'll get you into a home with a disability, like a group home setting for people who have disabilities.

Speaker 2:

But as I learned about that individual program learned about that individual program because I'm not disabled, extremely disabled, and I can function on my own I felt that I didn't want to give them my full disability check. You know I'm still can function. Now, if I had something happened to me and I had a stroke and I wasn't able to function for myself, I do need someone to step in and I do have someone to step in and take care of me and make sure that the right thing is put in order but.

Speaker 2:

I felt that I was disappointed in one sense, because I still have cerebral palsy, I still need help. Yes, I still have cerebral palsy, I still need help. Yes, but they weren't able to help me, because you know of the certain limitations and certain things that so that's frustrating. Yeah, you know it's and I think it's. It's come a long way since the 1960s and 70s, yes, but I still think it has a long way to go and I think if I can help a mother, a father, a child, an adult, a senior to know what resources and where to go, then I've done my. I've done my job and I think that's what's important to me in today's world, because I've had to. Really, I've always felt like I've had to fight for something, but this past year and a half it was really difficult and so I really needed to yeah, I really needed to find the resources, and if you don't know where you're going to go, you're just you're sitting there at a loss.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, or you don't have the ability, or you just don't even have the energy or the mental energy to deal with it.

Speaker 2:

Well, and for me, because of the falls, julie and I don't speak a lot about this major depression. Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2:

You know, feeling like suicidal, you know, not not having the, the, the availability, you know I'm still my thing was okay, I could go back on social security. But if SSI instead of my taking my husband's social security because we both never married, be married, um, but then I would be homeless, right? Yes, because my social security doesn't make the amount of income for me now to live here in Vegas. So, um, it's like I'm still disabled. So why can't you see me as being disabled? Because, just because I collect my husband's social security, yes, you know, so there's a lot.

Speaker 2:

I'm learning a lot. Someone did tell me that recently that because they don't change the laws of social security, um, it would open up so many different things and then we could lose certain things. So I don't know what they're going to do in order to make it better for us here in the United States.

Speaker 1:

I really don't. Yeah, it's yes, I understand exactly what you're saying, and it shouldn't be so hard. No, it shouldn't be so hard, no. Well, what do you hope other people take away from hearing your story?

Speaker 2:

For me. I hope that they have hope. Hope is huge. Trust, yeah, that they're not alone.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That there are resources out there that can guide them. I'm at home most of my time and so I don't mind helping people. I don't mind if someone was to reach out to me from your podcast and say how can you help me? Yes, podcast and say how can you help me? Yes, and if I have to call another state in order to find out what their resources are, I can do that because I I can, I have the time to do that.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I just want to be able to make sure that they know that they're not alone, because for me, as the younger child in me, that little girl was so alone and when I realized certain things in my adulthood, I'm so glad to know that she is loved and that, you know, and I hold her tight to my because of her experiences and everything that she had to go through in life, and I wanted to and this as to me a tribute to my auntie, gloria we didn't really talk about my angels. Yes, gloria, we didn't really talk about my angels.

Speaker 1:

Yes, but if it wasn't for my angels?

Speaker 2:

especially my Aunt Gloria and her family.

Speaker 1:

I don't know how my life would have turned out?

Speaker 2:

Yes, exactly, give anybody out there hope and a way to think of calling an organization and just seeing what type of help they can get. And one more thing, julie here in Vegas they have what they say a two, one, one organization so it has to be in other states as well, something similar. And what they say a 2-1-1 organization so it has to be in other states as well, something similar. And what they do is you call that number and they have a list of a variety of different organizations that you may be able to get resources from. Oh, beautiful, if you. And that's how I between Pat and 2-1-1, that's how I found my help through with my disability and my, my, my last fall. So it's like you have. You know there's. If they need help finding those organizations, have them reach out to me. You know, I know I gave you my email, yes.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah, I was just going to say in the detail section of the video and the podcast you're the information you gave me will be there. So if anybody would like to reach out to Deanna for any kind of guidance as to what direction to go, she's certainly willing to take the time to do it, because she's at home and she's got time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I just started this job, but it's fun. But you know, for me advocacy is my heart. So, yeah, I feel that's where God led me. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Well, I have two more questions for you, my dear, and one of them is about your angels, because you did talk about your aunt Gloria and other family members as you were growing up and into your adulthood. But who are your angels in your life today, and how do they continue to inspire you?

Speaker 2:

I have a group of angels in California who have supported me since I left Vegas, who is inspiring me every day to be the person that I am and reminds me every day to not listen to the negativity, because there is so much negativity out there, and the one thing my father always said to me is you're going to hear certain things throughout your life. They're jealous of you, they want you to pull you down, they don't want to see you happy and I have to, in whole honesty, even say that included family members, and so the person that I am today is because of the angels who have loved me in my life, especially these past few years. I have one individual who reaches out to me consistently to make sure that I am being taken care of and that I am loved.

Speaker 2:

I am being taken care of and that I am loved, and so I don't know where I would be in this time of my life without these three special people, and I'm thinking now maybe even four. But I am blessed that God has always brought me these beautiful people, because they have inspired me, they have made me feel that I am worth something when I didn't feel that I was worth something, and has made me realize that I am a beautiful individual and a beautiful soul.

Speaker 1:

I think that is. That's what we're supposed to do for one another is help bring out the best and let them know, let everybody know that everybody has beauty. You know, everybody has goodness and love. I love that, deanna. I just love it. So let me ask you my final question you ready? Okay, what's next for you on your journey, and how can others support your mission or your advocacy?

Speaker 2:

or your advocacy. So for me, I let go of my own individual business. I was selling essential oils and I just felt that I needed to step away and concentrate more on advocating. Child advocacy is special to me and I'm actually getting ready to take one of their classes here in Vegas so I can be assigned a child in the court system and act as their advocate. That is throughout the United States, so it's offered in every state and it's a CASR state. So it's offered in every state and it's a CASR Child Advocate, special Representatives, and so these is all volunteer and, as a matter of fact, when I learned about it, I was still married to my husband and I had been on medical leave, and so I was looking for something easier, not so much in the job working with my hands, because my hands weren't well and so I was so excited and I told my husband yeah, I got this interview at an advocacy place and I'm so excited.

Speaker 2:

And came back and he's like did you get it? Did you get it? I got it, I start next week. And I'm so excited. And then he's like well, how much honey? And I go, I've got it, I start next week, and I'm so excited and then he's like well, how much honey? And I said, oh, it's just volunteer, but it's the best volunteer business that anybody can do because it's for a child. In the court system it's my advocate was my aunt Gloria and her family.

Speaker 2:

Yes, my dad was my advocate. Yeah, anita is my advocate, laura, I mean, the list goes on. It's just mind blowing because I feel that God is calling me to advocacy right now. I've been in property management for over 18, 19 years, but I really believe that my time now, until is is is being an advocate and whether and I've learned to advocate for myself, and so if people need help, I would be more than happy to look into their state.

Speaker 2:

And if I have to call a friend and say, well, where do you think I can get this, and then they can guide me, I will do that. I just feel right now that God is calling me to that place.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you are a beautiful soul oh thank you. You're such a caring, beautiful soul you really are, deanna. I just I hope you get, I hope people reach out, but I hope millions don't, or I hope they do, but hopefully it doesn't kill your email. There's a lot of people that can use some help out there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know, even working at where I'm at right now, people call in and if they don't qualify, I give them the information that I've learned where to call. Yes, yes, and there's. You know, it's just that little piece of hope, and for me it's just a blessing that I um, even though I've gone through the challenges, I'm so much better today.

Speaker 1:

yes, yeah, yes, oh well, I I just I really appreciated you for being so willing to be so open and vulnerable with your story when you wrote it in the book, because sometimes it's not easy to talk about some of the things that we've had to deal with in our lives, but you did it very gracefully and I really appreciated that.

Speaker 1:

Now, as I mentioned in the beginning, the book is called when Life Breaks you Open Moments that Change Everything, and the book is going to be released November 29th, 2024. So, again, if you're watching it after this, the book's out there, you can pick it up and you can read Deanna's story and send her a message and let her know what you think and also take her up on her generous, very generous offer to share her knowledge and wisdom of how to get help and, as she said, even if she doesn't know herself, she's willing to. She's got connections that she can ask and hopefully be able to help you. So don't suffer, reach out. There's people out there like Deanna that definitely are willing to help Deanna. I just appreciate you so much and I just want to thank you again for writing and thank you for being on the podcast today. Is there anything? Any final words that you'd like to say to everybody that's watching or listening before we go Well.

Speaker 2:

Actually, julie, I just want to thank you because I know we met over two years ago and I never thought I would be able to write this particular story and, for some reason, when you sent that email to me and I received it, I'm, I'm, I'm a religious person and I just feel that at that point in time, god told me I received a message from God and he said to me, spoke to me and he says you're ready, and you just held my hand through the whole process and I am so glad that I was able to release the story, release the story and if I can help anybody out there that they're not alone, that there is hope, then thank you, and I appreciate that so very much well, thank you for your kind words, deanna I Bye.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much. Love. Deep breath. Okay, well, we're done. Okay, all right, everybody, we're going to sign off now and please support Deanna by reading her story and sending her some wonderful messages of what you thought of her story, and if you need to reach out, just know that she is there to help as well. Bye, everybody. Thanks again. Thank you for having me.

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